Wikileaks and Trump: "The Universe Is Rigged"

NEWLY RELEASED DOCUMENTS by the reputable Icelandic organization "wikileaks" calls into question possible motivations of the good lord in the creation of the universe. According to sources inside the Ecuadorian embassy in a European nation other than the South American nation Ecuador, wikileaks co founder Julian Assange, currently residing in a London closet in an effort to avoid traveling to Sweden and thence to the United States for questioning concerning the alleged rape of a Swedish citizen and the pilfering of documents related to American national security, wikileaks has obtained copies of emails allegedly originating from the lord's personal computer server which reveal possible fraudulent paperwork leading to the possible misleading of primates on a remote planet concerning his true intentions in the construction of physical and biochemical processes leading to the emergence of primates upon a small planet orbiting an unobtrusive but hot ball of hydrogen atoms. If the emails are found to be authentic, the lord could face a possible FBI investigation and subpoena, which could then be used as evidence in future litigation concerning the legality of the creation of the known, and unknown universe. Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump, who has often characterized the current presidential election as "rigged', or "fixed", when questioned about the possibility that the fixing and rigging extends far beyond the political campaign and may even extend to the entire cosmos, responded: "why the hell not?" When asked to elaborate, Trump went on to say: "the mainstream liberal American media is a conspiracy between the democratic party, a nasty woman, and an unauthorized unelected deity, and is covering up misbehavior on the part of a certain unnamed, crooked supernatural being who obviously has rigged the whole ball of wax. We're going to drain the swamp, and show the world that not only the good lord, but everyone who works for him is involved in a conspiracy not only to elect my deplorable opponent, but to keep alive a phony scheme involving matter, energy, space, time, and a helluva lotta really, really bad guys." Presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton, when reached for comment, denied the accusations, insisting that not only has she never had any personal communication with the lord himself, but has always worked diligently to enhance the transparency of the process of cosmic creation, particularly in relation to presidential politics. "Our entire campaign has striven relentlessly to elucidate fully the process by which God made the world, and is perfectly willing, ready, and able to cooperate in full with any and all federal investigations into the establishment of the physical universe. I fully intend to be forthcoming in the future, and I can only assume that the deity will be equally cooperative, and that this matter will be resolved, and will find my campaign, as well as the activities of the creator, to be in full compliance with all federal rules and regulations."