Surrendering

THERE IS A CAT, a stray male, which keeps coming around. I feed him, so he keeps coming. I feed him seperately from my females, because I want to make sure there isn't any trouble, and that my females feel safe and secure. The stray male has never made any trouble, never bothers the girls, who are spayed, which is why I keep feeding him, albeit separately. You never know. Only problem is, he doesn't want to dine alone. He wants to be part of the family, to be included in the meals of the females. He is adament about it. No matter how many times I chase him away from their feeding area, he keeps on coming,often ignoring his own full bowl of food on the other side of the yard. The other stray male I feed has no such issue; he willingly eats from his own bowl, even though the male bowl usually has food which is a bit, shall we say, less tasty and expensive than the female food. The persistant stray has learned this, has found out that merely by lurking in the bushes and delaying his meal a few minutes, he can horn in on the ladies, and steal their food. Hence, my chasing him off. My admiration for him is his persistence. I think his desire to be included in the family is a stronger motivator than the better food the ladies have. I respect that, and I, grudgingly, respect him. I hereby announce my surrender. From now on, if he wants to eat with the ladies, he eats with the ladies, but only after they have eaten....for many decades my sister and I have lived far apart, on opposite ends of the USA. I keep in touch with her, but she doesn't keep in touch with me. All the phone calls, texts, and emails originate with me; sometimes she responds, sometimes she doesn't. But she never ever initiates contact. I have tried to explain to her that communication is a two way street, that reaching out to people makes them feel appreciated, and all that, but to no avail. She simply will not reach out to me. Her introverted nature is just too powerful a force. My intent, as of recently, was to stop reaching out to her, to stop initiating contact. Why bother? If she insn't interested, why bother? But then a notion struck me, that by so doing I would be depriving myself as much as depriving her, that it would result in no improvement, no change in her behavior. So, I decided to surrender. I remember back in the nineteen eighties I would write her snail mail letters, with pen and paper. Only rarely did she write back. Finally, in one missive, I asked her: "Why do you never write back, nor write a letter to me first"? She wrote a letter in response, which, paraphrased, said: "I don't write back because, I have nothing to report, nothing to tell you. I have nothing to say. Every day I get up early, go to work, work all day, come home, eat, watch a little television, then go to bed. I do the same thing the next day, and every week day. On weekends, I sleep in, get up, have breakfast, clean house, and go to the grocery store. I never do anything, I never go anywhere, I don't spend much time thinking about anything, and I'm not trying to do anything important, like save the planet. But thanks for writing, and please write again soon. Love, sis." In point of fact she is a very interesting person, with a degree in music, a good husband, and a career which consisted of playing in the army band, and working at the Pentagon. But try telling her that. Again, I surrender. I've already lost the argument, and why keep fighting a losing battle?