Loving On A Tiger

MY FACEBOOK FEED is so arranged that it is about ninety percent cats, for obvious reasons. These include lions, tigers, panthers and cougars, as well as housecats needing names. Cute kittens are a staple, as well as nearly all feline species of various kinds. I invariably like, share, and type in a comment like: "precious doll". I mean every loving word of it. If they go extinct (housecats won't..), we are the losers, which, arguably, we are anyway. The very thought of amazing beings like tigers and cougars going extinct is sufficient to seriously enhance the misanthropy of a misanthrope, such as I. Facebook sends me brief movies, "reels" in which a huge, beautiful tiger is being hugged and kissed by a human being, in this case a young attractive lady, both parties obviously enjoying every micro second of it. Facebook, if nothing else, knows my heart, knows what I like. Facebook is a shrewd manipulator of homo sapien sapiens....(beware Facebook.) The young lady buries her face in baby's side, and grovels, rubbing her head back and forth, the three hundred pound doll moaning, grunting, "purring". Baby turns his head to look, approvingly. She rubs baby head, and croons: "Did I do that?" Ohhh, "I'm sorry". The gorgeous being forgives her. A gentleman stands tall, hugging a huge tiger, the aninal standing on his hind legs, seven feet tall, paws wrapped around the man's neck, a true loving embrace. Reels of tiger panther lion mothers nursing their tiny precious pre weened babies are among my favorite memes. I have become envious of those who have the good fortune to spend their time with tigers, raising them from early cub-hood. I wish to be born again into that role. Never mind the fact that between 1800 an 1900 the British government in India caluclated that during the nineteenth century tigers killed and ate approximately three hundred thousand Indians. The imperialists had noticed that folks were disappering, wondered why, started paying attention, figured it out, and started counting. Staggering. Impinging upon the habitat of harmless beings has consequences, as we well understand today.I had my chance. Once, at an outdoor zoo, I had a sweet tiger, big, beautiful, three hunded pounds, paws four times the size of my hand, well accustomed to humans, on its belly, wanting belly rubs. I acceded. The fur was coarse, not soft. He could have turned over and killed me through the iron bars,but chose not to.My sister, at the same zoo,was with a group of well dressed upper middle class Americans, when the same tiger sprayed down the group, taking possession. Everyone but my sweet sister shrieked in horror and disgust. My sister, properly honored, said she would never wash her clothes again. I love my sister. I fantasize about raisng and living with a tiger, unto its adult weight of three hundred pounds, and beyond. I'd have to get a bigger bed (I like to snuggle) and a second job with which to buy meat. I am willing, ready, and able, bad idea though this is. Yes, I would sleep with my tiger roommate, assuming her willingness. How big and beautiful can an all night snuggle be?! My large yard, enclosed by a ten foot chain link fence, with toys, a small pond, trees, shade, a large open area, and, perchance, a companion for when I'm not home. As for exercise, diet, and such, I would have to consult an expert. Alas, another pipe dream, but a most pleasant one. Only in my dreams, as we say. What beautiful dreams! I'd wager my bank account that I am not alone. Even if I am, I'll keep right on dreaming...