Hunting Hillary, To Distraction

OUR CONSERVATIVE AMERICAN FOOLS WOULD INDEED BE HUMOROUS, were they not in such deadly earnest. Let's start with Hillary. I don't like Hillary Clinton, for reasons of my own. Namely, I'm a Bernie sanders supporter, and I still firmly believe he should be the nominee. But he isn't, and so, like any law abiding line toeing conservative, I am angry, dead set pissed at Hillary for being so damned close to gaining the office I so strongly, passionately feel should go to someone else, the aforementioned Bernie. But 'tis only fair to ask: if she is truly the criminal the right wingers claim she is, and have so claimed for twenty five years, how is it that she has escaped justice all this time? The current FBI director is a right wing stalwart, who would have loved nothing more than to have indicted the bitch. When the FBI investigates you, you've been investigated. We all know that. The FBI doesn't play around. Every aspect of her and her philandering husband's lives, personal and professional, has been gone over with a fine tooth comb, over, and over...and over again...ad nauseum. And yet? Nothing. Zilch. Zero. At what point do we call off the dogs, stop the witch hunt, throw in the towel, cease and desist, and move the fuck on, pardon the French, to the much neglected business at hand; making America great again, to borrow a phrase? For God's sake,man, have you, at long last, no sense of decency? Or sanity? Hillary Rodham Clinton is a money hungry, power hungry, shrill, abrasive bitch, granted. But, Christ, dude. If only you conservatives would pull your Bibles and your sacred U.S. Constitutions out of your pious asses, and insert in their stead merely a modicum of intelligence, common sense, and objective reality, you'd realize that anybody who is the Secretary of state only for the purpose of becoming president of the United states, and knows her every move is being assiduously scrutinized, and has coveted the top office since Vassar, or where ever in the hell the wench went to school, sure as hell is going to be careful, mighty careful, to make sure that she does nothing while Sec of state to attract the attention of the hounds of hell (e.g., you damnable vultures, aka conservatives), and thus jeopardize her chances at the White House. Am I right? Hello? In your heart, you know he's right, to borrow a Barry Goldwater-ism. So, why not move right along with the business of defeating Hillary man to man, on the issues, at the pools, and in return we bleeding heart socialistic commie lovin' anti-american values democrats will kindly refrain from digging into Donald trump's bankruptcies, his shady deals, his persistent history of mafia style thuggery, inarticulate ignorance of the issues, boorishness, and we will do you one even better. We will, for the time being, refrain from ridiculing you for insanely thinking that the human race can inject five hundred million tons of surplus carbon into the atmosphere, and leave it there, day in day out, without it having the slightest effect on the climate. We promise? Deal? No? well, I didn't think so.........ANGER IS GOOD. SHARE THIS ESSAY WITH YOUR BEST CONSERVATIVE BUDDY. YOU'LL NEVER REGRET IT. THANKS!