OH, HOW I remember that dreadful day in nineteen sixty three, but for a rather unusual reason, as well as the usual one. I was eight, my sister was eleven, and i had just heard the dreadful news, and i just had to tell somebody.
And i told my sister, that apparently some strange combination of legal and political process had given us a new president by the name of "linda johnson", and that, not only was the new president evidently a girl, but a high school girl at that, because "linda" is a name for high school girls.
Of course i knew kennedy was killed with a rifle, i knew all about guns by the time i was five, hell, i'm an american. What was fuzzy in my mind was where a new president came from,how he was chosen. I learned, soon enough.
I said it, about linda johnson, and i meant it, in deadly earnest. I was horrified, and scared. A girl president? NO! I was evidently quite the little sexist, and age-ist. I was not stupid. Very precocious and analytical, in fact, for an eight year old.
I thought my reasoning regarding the name "linda" was impeccable. I must have also harbored the notion that people, upon leaving high school, change their names. Hell, who knows? I was eight years old, and it was over fifty years ago.
my sister looked at me with utter comtempt, and responded "you little goof. Thenew presiednt isn't named "linda". Its "Lyndon", and he is an older gentleman." I was greatly relieved, for i didn't thin any high school girl could possibley be qualified to handel the intracacies of cold war diplomacy, but also quite humiliated by my sister's disdainful scorn.
Hell she was in sixth grade, and I was in thrid. Beaver Cleaver territory.The young, dumb Beav. What can I say? And to think, I went to her because I feared the reaction of my parents...
well, its happened again. or rather, I've done it again. namely, made a complete idiot out of myself, which is perhaps easier than i have always imagined. lately i haave adopted three stray cats, which have been will chronicled in these "pages". The third one, who came inside for the first time only a day or two ago, i presumed female, for some reason, and named "shyla".
well, guess what? i gotta good look at "shyla" as "she" was walking away from me. shyla still won't le tme touch "it", so i hadn't seen this before, but, um....
yeah, that's right, shyla looks to be male... stay tuned for official verification. This all just happened a few moments ago, so please excuse me if i seem a tad out of sorts, lacking my usual charm. I guess this is my mia culpa, my version of lance 'fessin' up on oprah. its already been a rough day, and, well, i have to go now...hell, i haven't even told my sister yet.
she has three cats too. but by god, i'll tell you one thing for damend sure. its gonna be different this time. no repeat of inieteen sixty three. one peep outta her, and I'll creamer.
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