Defending America With Pet Toys

YOU CAN ALMOST do all of your shopping in a Dollar General store. The best advice for folks in Russia or China is to develorp a dollar store economy, just like the one we have in America. You'll love it, you'll see. Is the dollar store concept the most innovative American business idea since Wal Mart? It matters not that few items actually cost as little as a dollar, you can get what you want, cheaply. Browse the pet section, and pick up a few fun toys for that special member of the family. I walked out with something called the Ever Pet Pet Laser", for three dollars, not realizing until I got home and read the package that I had actually purchased a formidable weapon capable of bringing down aircraft. The toy is a cylindar half an inch in diameter about about three inches long. Coin shaped batteries are included. Put the batteries in, point it anywhere you want, and your cats'll be jumping around in no time, getting that all important exercise, trying to catch that elusive little red dot on the wall. Pretty ingenius, especially fot those who must confine their pets indoors due to proximity of super highways. Amazing, you can buy a laser in a dollar store. ON the back is a warning; do not point light at anyone's eyes, animal or human (what's the difference?), product can be dangerous, it is a federal offense to aim light at any and all aircraft. Good heavens. You aim this thing at an airplane flying high overhead, whether aircraft is a Cessna one fifty or a B52 bomber, and doing so may cause said aircraft to crash. The laser beam might damage or disorient electronic equipment onboard aircraft, or blind the pilot, or heavens knows what else. Has it ever happened? Undoubtedly. For all we know some six year old kid sliced up an attack squadron heading for Syria or Iraq. Toddler disarms American peacekeeping bomber force. You're almost tempted to ask whether these things should be manufactured, let alone sold in dollar stores. Let the free market decide! Who needs consumer protection? Hell, there's a warning right on the package, what else do you need? So far so good; the cats are hopping around enthusiastically, getting their daily minimum, and there has been no morbid impulse to bring down aircraft, though you never know. Maybe all good Americans should keep an ever pet pet laser in the home. If the Iraquis are trying to build atomic bombs, they are undoubtedly building bombers with which to deliver them, and after all, one must defend one's country.