Why We Do What We Do

I'M A RUNNER, right? Have been for thirty years. Little bit slower now, but that's OK. Youth, athleticism, and footspeed are overrated....other day, i was running in the park, tired, headed back to my car. Tired enough that all i wanted to do was get back to my car, and sit down, and rest...

Ahead of me i suddenly noticed two teen aged girls, walking, talking. They turned around briefly and looked at me, and continued walking, along the same paved trail i was on, couple hundred feet ahead of me.

I figured i would keep running at the best pace i could to finish up my run, and quit when i reached my car, a few hundred yards ahead, and i would try to overtake the girls as fast as possible, and pass them. Sort of like a spoontaneous motivational discipline tool; running and fitness is serious business.

I  picked up my pace a bit, as much as i could, which wasn't much, wiped the sweat off my brow, glanced up, and noticed that the girls were no closer, that they were still walking and seemingly keeping pace with me. Again, they looked back at me, briefly, at the same time.

About the third time they turned to look at me i began to wonder if they were nervous about me, and thought that maybe i might be a stalker of some sort. That gave me a perfect excuse to slow down, and give up my idea of a strong fast finish. Always looking for an excuse. And besides, in this country (united states), you don't wanna be falsely accused, of anything.

so i slowed to a walking pace, hoping they'd recede into the distance and vanish. Only they didn't. They slowed down too, to less than a walking pace, to a listless slow motion. And, they kept looking over their shoulders at me. I liked the situation less by the minute, feeling i didn't deserve this.

Finally they strolled passed my car, and kept walking, and i stopped at my car , tired but relieved, and leaned on it, looking in another direction. Out of the corner of my eye i saw them take another quick peek at me; i hoped they realized i had arrived at my car, and would haunt them no further.

They seemed to realize exactly that, and they didn't seem to like it. AS they continued on down the road, further away from me, they looked back with increasing frequency, while i quickly got in my car and started the ignition, still out of breath.

I really didn't want to appear to be hurrying, to show that i was concerned about anything (other than being arrrested for stalking). But I wanted to get the heck outta there, pronto.  I eased out of the parking lot, and pointed my car towards home.

When i was a couple hundred feet down the road and doing thirty five, i glanced in my rear view mirror, and saw the two girls, standing in the street motionless, staring in my direction. Surely they were no longer concerned about me, for any reason. I was obviously leaving. I had left.

When they disappeared over the horizon they were still staring. They probably knew the reason for their bahavior, but might not have admitted it, whatever it was, even to themselves. There's a reason for everything, and the reason is wrong only when we decide that it is.