Brainwashing Kids Into Vegetables

AMERICANS. as a general rule, have got to be more full of bullshit than any other culture in the world. Don't you think? The country should be called "the United States of Advertising." Advertising, as we in America well know, always works, it always benefits the advertiser, even if only modestly. All publicity is god publicity. That's why advertising is a trillion dollar industry, and why sales and advertising are the world's highest paying professions. With proper advertising, aka propaganda, you can get people to do damned near anything. You can even get American children to eat vegetables, and if you can do that, you can get anybody to do anything. A recent experiment reveals that if you expose grade schoolers to positive advertising promoting the eating of vegetables, they begin to eat vegetables. Bright, happy pictures next to the salad bar help. It helps if you turn each vegetable into a cute character, like "Connie Carrot", or "Sammie Celery", and turn them into lively action cartoons characters, involved in exciting SpongeBob-esque drama plots. It also increases the kid's tendency to choose veggies if they are given a choice, and gently urged to eat peas by sweet Polly Pea herself, and not told what to do by real people. Television pro veggie brainwashing works best. The study did not actually trace what happened to the veggies once they were on the tray and reached the table; maybe the kids were throwing them under the table, but they were at least selecting them. Perhaps further federal funding will allow for further study, to determine if the peas and carrots were actually being consumed. Stay tuned.