Justin Bieber, & a brothel in Brazil

THE HIGHEST RANKING AMERICAN, (the most popular), Justin Bieber, verifiably paid a visit to a Brazilian brothel the other day, which is rather appropiate, since brothel visiting is among America's most popular pastimes.. This information was obtained by the National Security Agency, and leaked by Edward Snowden. Several large media corporations in New York claim to have uncovered this story, but don't believe it; once again, the ubiquitous American government, though its intelligence gathering apparatus, and its omniniscience, has proven its worth, proven once again that its real enemy is international terrorism. The seduction of Bieber by Brizilian brothel babes qualifies as "international terrorism", according to reputable, reliable well informed United States government sources, requesting anonymity. The nineteen year young American entertainment icon was spotted leaving said whore house, wrapped only in a bed sheet. Oh, how far we have come from the days when we beheld a sixteen year old Justin Bieber and a sixteen year old Miley Cyrus and thought they might mature as pure as Pat Boone and Annette Funicello. Times have certainly changed. Kids grow up so fast these days! Two swarthy long limbed lovely young ladies accompanied the Bieber out of the brothel, and into his awaiting vehicle, complete with bodyguards. Bieber is already quite popular throughout Latin America, and will likely become even more so now. One Brazilian "Bieber & brothel" fan said " we, like our north american neigobrs, like our singers and celebrities promiscuous, and the earlier they start, the better." A spokesperson for the National Security Agency pointed with pride to the efficient completion of the agency's work in Brazil, indicating that he humbly accepts, with pride, the gratitude the American people are certain to feel as they thumb through their daily dose of tabloid journalism. The NSA considers its "outing" of Justin Bieber to be among its greatest accomplishments, ranking alongside the effectve monitoring of every electronic communication in the world.