Russians, Acting Like Americans

RUSSIA IS IN THE MIDDLE of a big fitness fad, a physical fitness boom! Surely, no culture, past or present, is as faddish as American culture, but the Russians are giving us a run for our money. In the Moscow subway stations, if you can do thirty squats, you can ride for free. There are pbulic stationary bicycles where anyone can peddle electricity and recharge a cell phone. Those hanging hand grips on subways, buses, and trains? You guessed it, they are now springy rubber pull out upper body exercisers. And who knows what they will think of next? Hopscotch diagrams in chalk on sidewalks? Punching bags hanging in doorways of government buildings? Tetherballs hanging from telephone poles! There will soon be an Olympics in Russia, billions of dollars are being spent, and the government is artificially trying to inspire a public physical fitness fad, to get the poeple, oh, you know, "in the mood." That's the difference between Russian fads and American fads. Americans would never respond to federal government fad prompting. Hell, Americans never do what their government prompts them to do, ever. The American federal government urges Americans to stop smoking, drinking, texting while driving, and having illicit sex. The rebellious but intrepid American people will have none of it! But in Russia fad prompting from above seems to be working. They may go bankrupt trying to pay for the ridiculously elaborate olympics games, but they must, for the sake of appearances. They must show the world that Russia is a modern, prosperous nation which knows how to throw a good party. Even if some of their own people go hungry trying to do this, they must do it. Even while the "highway" between Moscow and St. Petersburg, one of the most heavily traveled routes in the world, or should be, lies crumbling as it rambles through a vast wilderness of ghost towns, the show must go on, for the sake of national pride, and standing in the world. The world, you see, is like a high school prom; appearances trump all, all that matters is how one's nation looks in the eyes of the world. And we Americans have absolutely no problem at all understanding all this. We are the land of fads,(big hair in the '80s, black clothing in the '90s!) And we are the land of advertising and marketing. The United States of Advertising... It wouldn't be surprising if the U.S.A., in imitation, had its own national fitness craze when next we host an olympics, which won't be long.