Kardashians Kall It Kwits

KIMMIE AND CLOE KARDASHIAN, citing advice from their spiritual gurus and attorneys, have decided, in a joint announcement, to abandon their current lifestyle of frivolous prefabricated fame, and to become productive, and anonymous. Unidentified sources indicate that this decision on the part of the reality television superstars stems from recent complications resulting from their fame, including lawsuits, jilted suitors, and unwanted personal publicity. "Both girls want to do more with their lives than merely parading their hot bodies around in front of a lust crazed American public, and living lives of fabrictdaed drama", their spokesperson, attorney, and spiritual guru was reported to've said. Kimmie recently announced her intention of withdrawing from the public spotlight, devoting the rest of her life to community service, and abandoning all hopes of remaing young, beautiful, sexually attractive, and hence marketable in America, forever. Chloe Kardashian sees herself as a potential contriubtor to fundamental human intellectual endeavor, perhaps in the area of physics, where she hopes that, with a little formal education, she might complete the unfinisehd work of Einstein. The American people seem generally to be amenable to this unexpected turn of events. We're tired of tawdry corporate culture, with its shallow, superfical sex, being shoved down our throats like masters feeding placidly obedient sheep, the American people seem to be saying. Let the Kardashians fulfill their true intellectual potential, and let us do the same, for once. Thus seem to be saying the American people, albeit silently.