Friday, May 26, 2017

Treating Trump Badly, Bigly

ACCORDING TO PRESIDENT TRUMP, no other president in American history has been more unfairly, more rudely, more meanly treated, than, you guessed it, he, the Donald himself. Only four months into his likely soon to be truncated term, and he of the orange hair and tendency to repeat simplistic expressions to give himself time to think of what to say next has already become the most bigly hugely badly treated person to ever occupy the White House. Its always the big rich powerful white guys, the bullies, in other words, the poor weak downtrodden underdogs, who do the most whining. The thought that there might be something even remotely appropriate about his allegedly unfair treatment has, and never will cross his narcissistic paranoid attention seeking self pitying mind. Its not as if, for instance, the FBI thinks it has good reason to investigate the possibility that Trump's campaign conspired with Russian operatives to kick dirt on and undermine the candidacy of Hillary Clinton, or anything like that. Its not as if the the press has reported that Trump appointed as Director of the Environmental Protection Agency a man who does not seem to believe that the environment needs protecting, or anything like that. Gee whiz, all you do is fire a perfectly competent Director of the FBI for the apparent reason that he is leading an investigation into your possible criminal activities, then call him a "showboat", a "grand stander", a "nut case", and a "loser", and this is what you get? An investigation by the FBI! The villainous press is the culprit. How dare they point out that Trump's many business interests constitute a flagrant conflict of interest, as claimed by former Bush ethics counsel Lawrence Painter, and every other ethics expert in the country. How dare the media ridicule such conspicuously clear and cogent expressions as "alternative facts". How dare the media point out that millions of Muslims were not seen celebrating on the Jersey shore as the World Trade Center burned, or that there cannot be found four million illegal votes cast for Hillary Clinton. Its almost as if the American news media is insinuating that Trump tells lies. How dare they! If Trump had broken any of his campaign promises, such as forcing the Mexicans to pay for the wall, withdrawing from the Iranian nuclear treaty, the Paris climate treaty, or keeping all Islamic faithful out of the country, you could understand his lack of credibility. All other American presidents were treated, ooohh sooo much more totally nicerely than he of the juvenile syntax and propensity to enjoy firing people on television. The only thing they did to Thomas Jefferson was accuse him of being an atheist and an adulterer. James Garfield, William McKinley, Abraham Lincoln, and John F. Kennedy were murdered while in office, but hey! They were treated much better than the poor unfairly treated Trumpster. George Washington was so fairly treated that he once said he would rather be in his grave than in his presidential office. Days after Lincoln was elected, half the country left the country, but they did it civilly, so as not to mistreat Abraham. Oh,there was the time that Lincoln arrived at his veteran's home respite outside Washington only to find a bullet hole in his top hat, but so what? Trump has it far worse. When he first shook hands with the Pope, the Pope didn't smile. What horrible treatment! "Hey hey, LBJ, how many boys did you kill today!" Wasn't that sweet? Bill Clinton spent eight years in office dodging the right wing hate mondering attack machine, then got impeached for lying about having sex with a twenty one year old hottie, but all that was fair, wasn't it? You might recall that as soon as Barack Obama was elected, Donald J. Trump spent the next five years claiming that Obama was born in Kenya, not Hawaii, even as Obama waved his Hawaiian birth certificate for all to see. By doing that Trump was actually being nice to Obama, keeping him honest, making sure his paperwork was in order. The day after Trump was elected, Obama reciprocated to inviting him to the White House and filling Trump in on everything he might need to know that might help him settle in to the job, but damned if Obama didn't fail to greet Trump at the front door with a cold glass of milk, or a warm one, and some fresh baked Michelle Obama cookies. He waited ten whole minutes before doing that. How negligent. It must have been torture for Trump, the most unfairly treated president in American history, who only wanted to lock up Hillary Clinton for not committing any crimes, but wanted to do it hugely nicely.

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