Treadmill Bob On Speed: Coming To Terms With Caffeine Addiction

EACH MORNING at six sharp I awaken, feed the cats, and put the coffee on. That shows how dominate the cats are, and how important coffee is to me.After three cups I feel great, uplifted mentally and emotionally, all drugged up on joe. Ready to rock 'n roll. So I hoof it two blocks to the senior center, and hop on the treadmill. Thirty minutes to an hour later, sweaty, spent, but totally juiced on runner's high to go with teh caffeine, I head out to the main room, where the senior have been gathering, grab a glass of ice cold lemonade, and sit down. The seniors, my friends, are catching up, slugging down jo in fist fulls, getting juiced up on drugs just like me. That,s honestly, is the truth. It isn't likely to make em and this website any more popular down at the senior center, but hey, you can't lose what you never had. Coffee, our national drug. For you meth addicts out there, trust me, I do not consider myself to be your moral superior. I simply think that I made a better drug of choice than you. Come on over to our side, its a blast! Ask any senior; most os us are hooked. Ninety year old Johhny, who can barely stand, much less walk, gets there first, right after eight, and heads straight for the coffee maker. Heaven help anyone who tries to stop him. The longer I sit there, the louder the conversation gets, the more they interrupt each other, and the more they laugh. I just take it all in, and take part in the social benefits of our daily drug orgy, even though I usually don't drink with them, being already done for the day. I find it humorous how many of them swear up and down that coffee has no impact on them. They are the hard core users, invariably. I rarely if ever drink coffee at the senior center; I get there already higher than a coffee kite. Because of that, the others don't really know how very much I am one of them, a coffee junkie. The great thing is, I'm done drinking by seven or eight, and by ten, coming down, but gently, the coffee already having helped jump start my day. Coffee, one might assert, is a "good" recreational drug, as far as recreational drugs go. Indisputably, it is the one drug that our society sanctions, to the point of mass pan societal addiction. But lest we forget, it is a powerful mind altering drug, and puts us on the same level as illicit drug addicts, in terms of self medicating. But at least we stay out of jail, and we kill ourselves much more slowly than your averaged meth addict.