Winning With Juicing

ATHLETES THE WORLD OVER, at the highest levels of competition, are using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), hundreds of steroid varieties, chemical concoctions of which there are endless combinations. These substances build muscle, reduce fat, increase size, speed, and quickness. With modern chemistry, all things are possible, including the elimination of normal aging and bodily deterioration. We may soon live in a world of perfect bodies, everyone a great champion, everyone setting records. How boring would that be? Very boring, it would seem, because overwhelmingly people indicate a preference for outlawing steroids and punishing those who use them. Thus The world athletic powers that are are tying to regulate PEDs, without the faintest trace of success. It begins to seem as if we might be better off accepting the inevitable; a person's right to do with his or her own body as he or she wishes, free of government restraint. In Russia, you can swing neither a dead cat nor a sledgehammer without hitting a juiced athlete, because in Russia, to be an athlete is to be juicet, courtesy of the government, which hilariously claims to be trying to stop PED use, but is actually doing quite the opposite. The Tour De France? Fuggettaboutit. They're all juiced. modern chemistry stays just one step ahead of the law, detection wise, and always sill, regardless of the law. There is a market for steroids, a strong demand, and as we all know here in the United States of Avarice, all demands are supplied. Chemists like making money as much as the rest of us. According to Mike Shannon, long time radio announcer for the St. Louis Cardinals, every player in the major leagues uses PEDs, notwithstanding the rulers of baseball having long since instituted harsh aggressive detection methods and harsh penalties. Although American football players are getting bigger, faster, and stronger due partly to better diet and weightlifting machines, who can deny that there is something about the way they look, beginning in high school and continuing in college and professional football, that inspires one to wonder. And so, until we find a solution,, better detection and regulation or legalization and regulation, we will continue to watch our heroes as they thrill and entertain us with athletic feats maybe just a bit too good to be true, and probably are.