Reading the Book Banners

A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE recently ran in an election for his local school board, and won. Before he had even been sworn in to office, he was beseiged by demands from parents concerning books they thought needed to be banned or removed from the libraries of the school district. In particular, one especially anti-bibliophilic guardian of children's virtue presented him with a list of about two hundred books which, according to the patron, were indisputably unacceptable in school libraries, and must immmediately be removed or forbidden entrance. On this list were the usual predictable authors and titles: Salinger, Steinbeck, Steinem, Orwell, as well as any and all titles which related to or bore the faintest resemblence to or hint of containing subject matter and material having to do with extant racism, racial equality, socialism, gay and LGBTQ issues and concerns. The usual menu. No child must awaken to being woke. All child left behind, culturally and intellectually. The usual stuff. And, of course, anything pertaining to the numerous and various religions of the world, other than Christianity, prohibited.....Any work discussing the origins and history of the Christian religion from a purely historical, scientific, critical perspective, such as the writings of Bart Ehrman; verboten. All Christian literature must be devotional, not factual. And of course, any book espousing the worth of or assigning any value or truth whatosever to any religion other than the one true religion was unworthy of placement on the bookshelves on the district. Christian dogma in print? No problem, bring it. Heaven forbid that any student should be exposed to the merest hint that there might, just might, be truth, wisdom, and value to any other blasphemous religious faith. Nothing acknowledging racism in modern America. Cooperative, socialized economics? All garbage. Out the window with "To Kill A Mockingibrd", "The Catcher in the Rye", "Native Son", "The Grapes of Wrath (which contains a scathing assessment of American capitalism). The list of the infamous two hundred droned on..and on...My friend, having been forewarned, was ready for the frontal assault, like a tiger waiting in the bushes for its prey. He expressed his appreciation to the myopic parent for her sincere concerns for the intellectual and moral welfare of her child, and all other children of all other parents about whom she was so deeply if ingenuously concerned, and made her an offer. When you have read all of the books on this list, he offered, and are thoroughly convinced of their unsuitability, please annotate them, making note, page number by page number, of precisely the objectionable content. Then, present your findings to me, and I will see what I can do. The lady was quite unhappy. She was, after all, a parent, and, well, they should just take her word for it, and leave it at that. And of course you know what happened next. My friend never heard from the sanctimonious, paranoid parent again. Apparently she had already beseiged other members of the school board with her demands, which had been met with quiet, quite respectful "we'll see what we can do". Her dissatisfaction with my friend's approach inspired her to try the other members again, but when pressed, they all agreed that my friend's proposal seemed fair and reasonable. (In truth, they had been given prior notice by my friend about his strategy, and had been met with smiles and agreement.) Is anyone surprised at this outcome? Nobody should be. People who want to ban books do not tend to read books, including the Bible. The very thought of actually reading, much less opening the cover of a book which is unacceptable a priori is unthinkable. Why waste time reading anything which does not praise Christ or which discusses sinful pursuits, like cultural diversity and inclusion, or sharing wealth and loving in alternative lifestyles, from page one? Consult one's minister, always.... Only good books ever get banned. Only closed, twisted minds ever want to ban books. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Any parent who has chosen to waste her mind and is intent on wasting that of her child should be banned, but never books.