Reaping the Wages of Corporate America

INTRODUCING! the latest smart phone app: guns. That's right, guns. That may sound a bit hard to believe at first, until you think about it, and realize that the union of phones and guns is as inevitable, and as American, as any slice of apple pie to ever come out of the oven. Actually, you'd be disappointed if it happened anywhere other than America, but fortunately, we needn't worry about it. We need only wait for Apple, or whatever company is producing gun-phones, to start retailing, and its off to the races, as they say. Before long many companies will be making them, and most of us'll have one. I'll bet you just can't wait! Rumor has it that the gun holds two rounds, small caliber, but big enough, and fast enough. How long before a vast majority of the American people have one? Too fast to sit down, take a deep breath, and really think about it, unfortunately, but not fast enough for the corporate bottom line. Arm all the good folks with gun phones, because otherwise, only the bad guys will have gun phones, or however it goes. When the murder rate soars, and people start accidentally shooting their own noses off, and some sluggish government entity starts talking tongue in cheekly about regulation, the fireworks will renew in earnest, and our conservative compatriots will save us from tyranny, and deliver us unto our well deserved national epidemic of pocket pool. America's thriving corporate culture of high drama; competition, mergers, deadly products on the market, a generally insane public, and labor strife proves that the working class lives on, in spite of everything, as some of them assembled peacefully in downtown Chicago yesterday, and yelled unpleasant remarks at the management of the Verizon Corporation. For strikers, they make pretty good money, but are being squeezed slowly in what the big people term "necessary cost cutting". This, in a business which netted eighteen billion last year, and in which the top execs "earn" tens of millions per. Somewhere, somehow, there must, in theory, be the perfect balance between management, shareholders, and employees. At least, you'd think. Then too, lest we forget, there are the "stakeholders", which any economist can tell you about. These are the folks who slink and dodge their way down public sidewalks, dodging smart phones, guns, and the Americans who tote them.