Playing Soccer, Losing Well, and Making Good Money

THE AMERICAN WOMEN'S SOCCER TEAM, which has won everything in the world except the lottery, wishes only to be given equality with the men, economically. More probably they should be given economic superiority, considering their unrivaled record of success. Let the men take the short end of the stick, if a short end there must be! Heaven forbid that we should, as Americans, endorse the politically correct concept of gender equality. It could be argued, however, that the men should indeed be earning more money, because people should be paid for the quality of their work, should be paid fairly for how well they do what they do, no matter what they do, so long as they do good. And, let's face it, head on (head, soccer, on...): the United States men's soccer team does one thing, and one thing better, than nearly anyone in the country: they lose, they lose with grace and style, and that is good, because, as they say, somebody's gotta do it. They fail to win tournaments, and even games. They fail to bring home hardware from the Olympics and the World Cup. Nobody does it better, this failing to win thing, save maybe the 1962 Mets. Pay people what they are worth! The men's soccer team is worth a great deal: it provides an excellent role model in how to play hard, and lose, and make more money than women while so doing. And that, dear fans of soccer, takes a whole heap of doin'.