Turning Back the Clock, with Grace

SOME PEOPLE AGE GRACEFULLY, other don't. What exactly is aging gracefully? Is it attitude, behavior, or both? It is perhaps nothing other than a cheerful acceptance of the inevitable. You can always tell the two types apart. Those aging without grace include the following: a paunchy, balding sixtyish man wearing a tank top and driving a convertible mustang with the top down. Anybody over the age of fifty in a bikini. Facelifts, wigs which are obviously wigs, a closet full of make up and, above all, beware of anyone who looks to be over sixy years of age, and hasn't a single grey hair. These are the markers for fighting the unfightable, resisting the course of nature, making a fool out of one's self. Warning to the world; for the most part, American baby boomers, those born between 1946 and 1964 and now entering senior citizenship, are not, as a class, aging gracefully. They are fighting it tooth and nail, and losing the fight. Bruce Jenner, perhaps the greatest athlete among American baby boomers, was recently scheduled to have his Adam's Apple reduced in size, a proceedure which doubtless few normal, well adjusted people even know exists. But exists it does, and Jenner was all primed and ready to have his throat hump cut down to size. A sixty five year old man, having his throat surgically altered in appearance, for the sake of appearance, even though he doesn't have throat cancer. And the reason for this is? (vanity). Then, somehow or other, word leaked out. The tabloid meida found out about Jenner's impending surgical procedure,a nd Jenner became quite upset about the publicity. He cancelled the operation, and fired his doctor, who was evidently responsible for the top secret information getting out. Hey,sweetie, I'm home from the hospital, and you'll never guess who came to see me about performing plastic surgery on his Adam's Apple! (it always starts like that). Part of the process of again without grace is an unwillingness to accept responsiblity for aging gracelessly. Baby boomers of the world unite! We have the right to try to look, act, and feel like teen agers again!