Being Ignored by the U.S. Government, but Not Wanting To Be

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO an American gentleman made a very bad mistake; he got himself kidnapped by Al Qaeda, which might hold the world's record for hatred of America and Americans, and that takes some doing. Any American who knows what's good for him would just about rather have any misfortune befall instead of being kidnapped by Al Qaeda. All things considered, you'd really rather get yourself kidnapped by the klan than Al Qaeda. If you're an American, and you're kidnapped by Al Qaeda, you're not going to be processed and released, like clockwork, with just a few minutes of paper work. You're going to be paraded around as an American imperialistic terrorist, a criminal, and used as bait and leverage. You're going to be placed in front of a camera, cleaned up a little bit, and forced to read a scrpit. The script will include expressions of outrage against the United States, and expressions of understanding for the captors, and of the utter necessity of their behavior. The current Al Qaeda captive is conforming to the script to the letter. He says he feels forgotten and abandoned by the United States government. There must be at least a good hundred million Americans, in the safety of their own homes, who feel much the same way. You certainly don't have to be kidnapped by Al Qaeda to feel ignored by the federal government. Any American, in the comfort of their own home, who doesn't feel ignored by the government, probably wonders why on earth anyone, any American, would think that being ignored by their government is even such a bad thing. What's wrong with flying a bit beneath the radar? The lessons here are clear. Do not, under any circumstances, get yourself captured by Al Qaeda. And if you do, do not expect the U.S. govenment to negotiate to secure your release. The U.S. government refuses to negotiate with terrorists. And if you are ever in a situation in which you actually want the U.S. government to pay attention to you, you are to be pitied.