Dropping the Phone, but Learning From the Experience

THE FIRST TIME I dropped my cell phone in my coffee, not only did I waste a perfectly good cup of delicious hot coffee, I actually had the naivete to cling to the possibility that the phone was undamaged by the soaking; perhaps, in our world of high tech wonders, these things are coffee proof. Wrong. I walked into the Verizon office, looking like a shool child who has lost his homework, and is afraid to inform the teacher, thinking he won't be believed. The young lady said to me, reassuringly "do you have any idea how many people come in here after doing the same thing?" I had to admit that, no, I really didn't. She assured me it happend all the time, and the liquid into which phones are dropped, said she, is most often toilet water, not coffee. I didn't allow myself to inquire whether, in most cases, the toilet water is clean, even though I assumed she would probably know. I can hope that it is. I felt a small sense of reprieve, but still confused, ashamed, and frightened. Frightened of being cut off from teh entire world. Not to worry, said teh young lady, we can fix you up with another phone. For a few moments I harbored the illusion that I might get a replacement, an identical phone to the one I had drowned, for free. (how can anyone possibly be so naive?). No, that aint the way it works, said my new lady friend, who suddenly started to seem like someone who holds power, big time corporate power, over me. So I had to buy a replacement phone, and no, the model I had been using was no longer available, having been rendered obsolete by the passage of time. New phone, new instruction booklet longer than "War and Peace", new confusions, fears, and frustrations. The thought of someone dropping a phone in the toilet frankly amused me. What idiot would be on the phone while going to the bathroom? Maybe the same fool who holds his phone over a steaming cup of coffee, then drops it. But at least mine didn't go in the toilet. Now I have a huge phone, one which will neither fit in a cup of coffee nor a toilet. Its far less expensive too, with unlimited time and distance. Portable, but barely. I love it. Also I love desk top computers. they are cheaper, more powerful for the dollar, and large enough to never end up lost, stolen, or toileted. Are we, as a society, really sure that we rally want all this compact technology? haven't we by now figured out that the smaller the device, the more vulnerable to toiletry? At least I didn't drop mine in the toilet.

Bringing Business Back Home, for the Wrong Reason

GOOD NEWS, AMERICA! Our manufacturing base is returning to the fruited plain of the lower forty eight. General Motors, formerly known as "government motors", is back to being general motors, and has announced its intention of building five assembly plants in Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana. We the people saved GM with a fifty billion loan, and we only lost ten billion in the deal. A bargain, no matter how you cut it. Barack Hussein Obama saved GM, by cajoling us to save it. He saved the Bank of America, and he saved a huge handful of other mainstay American corporations, including gigantic Citigroup and AIG, taking heat from conservatives the entire way. Now, all the saved companies are profitably in business, and the American economy, so we are told, is recovering, albeit a bit slowly. Can you imagine the American economy today if all its major financial services corporations had vanished? According to strict conservative capitalists, government should have stayed out of it, let the business comunity sink or swim on its own merits, and let the chips fall where they may. They don't really believe that, but to them it sounds good, and it allows them toslcling to their free market dogma, without seeming hypocritical. It would appear that, with numerous European and American corporations sending labor to third world countries with low standards of living. the strategy has paid off, in a most unexpected way. The price of labor has risen sufficiently around the world that it is now difficult to find workers who can be exploited any more effectively than American workers can be expolited back home. Thus, back home come the businesses. Not because they have experienced any patriotic catharsis of guilt and redemption, but because they know where to go to get the greatest profit by the greatest exploitation of workers. The American laborer is so cheap, and American labor unions so weak and ineffectual that Japanese auto makers are now preferring to make their machines in the United States. The result is good for America, even if the motivation behind it is, shall we say, mercenary, and thus a bit less than honorable.

Working Together in Space

EVEN AS WE SPEAK, China has sent a space probe to the moon, and their robot is prowling around on the lunar surface, collecting data. The Chinese moon rover has a decidedly different look than the one the United States is using to explore Mars,and is functioning brilliantly at last report. Speaking of Mars, India has its own explorer on its way to the red planet. Througout most of the history of human exploration of Mars, attempts to send space probes have failed miserably. Most of the early ones crashed and burned before ever having a chance to do their jobs. But that was then, this is now. Amazing to think that, back in the nineteen sixties, when the United States and the Soviet Union were competing ferociously to become the leader in space exploration, both China and India were overwhelmingly rural agrarian nations with absolutely no inclination or technological capability to reach into outer space. But that was then, and this is now. Millions of folks have moved into the cities, manufacturing has caught up with farming as a source of wealth, and both China and India, with excellent science and technology education systems, have joined the high tech out reaching into space parade. This begs a question; is it really in the best interests of the human race to have many different countries operating many different independent space programs? Or would we all be better off to pool our resources, and have one big, Earthling space program? The cost and danger of sending people into space is far greater than computers and robots; we seem to have decided to go the robot route for the time being. But we are curious, exploratory beings. We the people at length will want to go travel the universe in person. With all the money being spent in a somewhat redundant manner at present, would it be possible and preferrable to develop a human based space development project, with all the nations of the world working together?

Cutting Back On Lawyers

THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE attending law school for the year 2013-2014 has decreased by several thousand from a year ago. The number of law school students has in fact decreased rather steadily for the past several years. The American BAR Association is blaming the decline on the same old scapegoat; our recent and prolonged recession, which, if you didn't know better, you would swear was still not over. But possibly there are other factors involved. The United States of America is the most legalistic society in the world, and the most legalistic society in the entire history of the world. One third of the world's attorneys at law are Americans. Because the country was founded exclusivley for the purpsoe of replacing the British ruling aristocracy with an American ruling aristocracy (all fifty six signers of the Declaration of Independence were either lawyers, or wealthy land owners, all aristocrats), the protection of property rights was considered paramount. The United States of America is a nation of the property, for the property, and by the property. But could it be that in our modern world, the saturation of American society by lawyers has reached its peak, and is now declining to a more market based, market-appropiate level, like all commodities do in a free market? Or could it be that today's college students are digresing from the legal profession, because the profession has gotten such a negative reputation over the past several decades, beginning with Watergate in the nineteen seventies? Who knows? Maybe the recession is the root cause. But, one is free to hope that American society is coming to its senses, and starting to figure out that even in a law suit happy culture, there are limits.

Leveling the Field, by Choice

JUST HOW EXTREME can the economic inequaltiy in the United States become? Will Bill Gates and Warren Buffett end up facing each other on the dusty streets of Dodge, staring unblinkingly, trigger fingers atwitchin', in a ghost town with nobody watching? Probably, not; both of those guys are trying like all holler to avoid that sad fate; they keep giving their wealth away. Not fast enough though. No matter how fast Gates and Buffet disperse money, their entrepeneurial concerns make it right back even faster. Those two just can't seem to keep their business acumen in check. The rest of the country keeps dividing, between rich and poor, with not much in between anymore. Most folks, if they live in a one room apartment, have a job, and can pay the rent, are happy, and have no resentment towards the billionaire next door. but when it gets difficult, then impossible to pay the rent and keep the lights on, even with the full time job, problems begin. The poor become restless, and rebellious. Ironically, the best role model the United States has for economic sanity and balanced competition is its professional sports industry. No longer do the Yankees, the Celtics, or the Alabama Crimson Tide have all the money and all the glory. (we include the Crimson Tide because collegiate athletics in America are professional, and the athletes are slaves). In professional and collegiate sports in the Unitd States, everybody has a chance, because of salary caps, revenue sharing, limits to scholarships - in a nutshell, because of all manner of socialistic, cooperative field leveling rules and regulations. Aka, big government. Nonetheless, free enterprise in American sports is alive and well. American universities make a fortune from exploiting their student-athletes, and meanwhile professional baseball, football, basketball, and hockey are even steven, on the field, off the field, and they are all prosperous. Amazing what a little self imposed discipline can do for a group of people who have something in common.

Turning Back the Clock, with Grace

SOME PEOPLE AGE GRACEFULLY, other don't. What exactly is aging gracefully? Is it attitude, behavior, or both? It is perhaps nothing other than a cheerful acceptance of the inevitable. You can always tell the two types apart. Those aging without grace include the following: a paunchy, balding sixtyish man wearing a tank top and driving a convertible mustang with the top down. Anybody over the age of fifty in a bikini. Facelifts, wigs which are obviously wigs, a closet full of make up and, above all, beware of anyone who looks to be over sixy years of age, and hasn't a single grey hair. These are the markers for fighting the unfightable, resisting the course of nature, making a fool out of one's self. Warning to the world; for the most part, American baby boomers, those born between 1946 and 1964 and now entering senior citizenship, are not, as a class, aging gracefully. They are fighting it tooth and nail, and losing the fight. Bruce Jenner, perhaps the greatest athlete among American baby boomers, was recently scheduled to have his Adam's Apple reduced in size, a proceedure which doubtless few normal, well adjusted people even know exists. But exists it does, and Jenner was all primed and ready to have his throat hump cut down to size. A sixty five year old man, having his throat surgically altered in appearance, for the sake of appearance, even though he doesn't have throat cancer. And the reason for this is? (vanity). Then, somehow or other, word leaked out. The tabloid meida found out about Jenner's impending surgical procedure,a nd Jenner became quite upset about the publicity. He cancelled the operation, and fired his doctor, who was evidently responsible for the top secret information getting out. Hey,sweetie, I'm home from the hospital, and you'll never guess who came to see me about performing plastic surgery on his Adam's Apple! (it always starts like that). Part of the process of again without grace is an unwillingness to accept responsiblity for aging gracelessly. Baby boomers of the world unite! We have the right to try to look, act, and feel like teen agers again!

Revenge Porn For Profit Is Here To Stay

A NEW AMERICAN INDUSTRY, indeed, a new American culture is emerging, which for want of a better term can be called "revenge porn". This is predicated on a classic human circumstance: the anger and revenge of lovers, broken up. Girlfriend sends naked selfie to boyfriend. Later, they break up, say, bitterly and angrily, and ex boyfriend chooses to use nude photo of ex gf as a revenge weapon. Perhaps you can see where this is going. With this happening all the time, erstwhile enterpenuers create websites which feature photos derived from above mentioned circumstances. Website collects quite a collection of revenge porn, attracts millions of readers, sells some advertising, enriching website owner. Happens everyday. Will it continue to happen. Hello? Just recently some greatly enraged people succeeded in shutting down the most prominent revenge porn website, but, by golly, before it was shut down, it sure was popular, and profitable. Almost as if there were a market for such a commmodity. Almost as if folks like porn, and drama. There will be more in the future. Capitalism and Sex Shall eternally Prevail! How utterly, ingeniously, beautifully American, to profit from the emotional pain of others! Who owns naked pictures, anyway? My position is as follows: if someone gives me something, anything, no matter what it is, it is mine to keep, and to do with as I choose, unless the gift giver says otherwise, explicity, in which case I have the option of declining the gift. How can any sensible human being give something, a present, gift, or words, to someone, and then expect to retain control of what the recipient does with the gift? Excuse me? Many's the narcissistic vain nude selfie that has come back to haunt the taker of the photo of the naked self. Thus, proceed with caution. And let us all stop pretending that we can interact with other people, and then have any control over what other people do with the interaction. We own only ourselves and our actions, but not the effect of our actions on others.

Texting, and the Evolution of Language

LANGUAGES, LIKE THEIR INVENTORS, are constantly evolving, slowly. Hence we have ancient and modern Greek, ancient and modern Hebrew, and medieval and modern English, which is a younger language. In America we speak a mongrel language, based on German, with healthy doses of French, Nordic, Latin, and a few others thrown in. Thus the English language has roughly one million words, more than any other, and is the mose widely spoken language in the world. Something like forty percent of all people who speak a second language speak English as their second language. Of the seven to eight thousand spoken languages currently in the world, most of the world speaks one of the most popular ten, and every year, several dozen little used languages actually become extinct, just as surely as plants and animals. But,just as we now have the ability to bring back to life extinct plants and animals, so we have the power to bring back dead languages. When was in high school, eons ago, Latin was on the curriculum. Now, it generally isn't. If you read letters written by Americans in the eigteenth and nineteenth centuries you are astounded by how well people wrote and spoke, how "properly", using the King's English. Poorly educated young soldiers in the civil war wrote letters to loved ones back home using eloquent flowing, beautiful English. And their handwriting was impeccably neat, and stylish. Now we are all forgetting how to write in cursive, or how to hold a pencil or pen, and school childern are no longer taught cursive; instead, they are taught keyboarding. The evolution of English is proceeding more rapildy than ever before, as computers texts, tweets, and twitters change the way we talk 2 each other. Our grandchildren's grandchildren will scarcely recognize early twenty first century American English as comprehensible, just as we verily scratcheth our heads at thine linguistic heritage. LOL, U R 2 kewl, roflmfao, & brb. Yo.

Looking Good Equals Success

A LONG TIME AGO I recall hearing about a study conducted by, I believe it was Harvard, as usual, concerning the relationship between people's hight, and their income level. It turns out that there is a very discernable correlation between the two seemingly unrelated metrics. For every inch in height, a person earns an extra six hundred dollars a year, according to the study. And this was a long time ago, so, the extra income is probably much greater now. I recall drawing myself up to my full five feet six inch height, and frowning. How unfair! How shallow and arbitrary! Can it really be that human beings are so hard wired to behave in such an unconsciously bizarre and predictable manner? As if we are controlled by pervasive evolutionary forces over which we have no conscious control? It can, and, we are assured, it is. Taller people get farther in life, economically, and, in general, in probably every other way. Although this all sounds like one of those "only in America moments", of which there are so many, and which we all love so dearly, this behavorial phenomenon appears fundamentally human. Platform shoes and high heels all around! But from there the news only gets worse, and stranger. Pretty people do better income-ically too. the prettier the person, the greater the financial rewards appreciatvely bestowed by greater society. What, exactly, is pretty? Well, among people, its probably symmetry of features, first and foremost. One's eyebrows must be a certain distance apart,in relation to the breadth of one's nose. Also, being attractive means being young, or young in appearance, relative to one's age. And don't forget the good complexion, and straight white teeth. No wonder we Americans spend more on cosmetic surgery than cancer research, and more on make up than eye research. Deep down, we all want to be pretty, because we all want to be rich. Let the fade cream and teeth whitener fly off the retail shelves of the world! Now we can all be wealthier; we know the secret. To have a successful life, filled with rewards and benefits from others in a world which appreciates beauty: forget aobut education, personality, and intelligence. Just be tall, and good looking.

The Secularizing Of America

THE FOUNDING FATHERS CLEARLY intended that the United States of America be a secular democracy, a government with no incursion or influence by any religion. Well, actually, the United States wasn't intended to be a democracy, it was intended to be a republic, a representative democracy, a plutocratic oligarchial republic, with the wealthy white men in control. But it was intended to be non religious, this new American experiment, with all religious culture separated from government. However, so preeminent has Christianity been in the United States, that that particular religion has insinuated itself into every aspect of American life, government, and otherwise. And really, very few people, even among the non Christians, have ever much resented or minded this. Christianity in the civic community has always been presented tastefully, in a positive manner, and harmlessly. A prayer or two here and there at government events, and that's about it. Pretty harmless stuff. However, in the spreading wave of political correctness, where no group or type of any sort is given preferred treatment or offended in any way, shape, or form, non Christians have become quite vociferous in insisting on removing all Christianity from the public governmental domain. Legally, they are right. Nativity-manger displays, plays, and references are gone from public schools in America, the term "christmas holiday" is being replaced by the term "winter holiday", and so forth. Displays honoring Satan and atheism are being allowed to stand next to Christmas displays on government property. But the Christian community sometimes fights back. ESPN, our iconic American sports television network, was forced, by public outcry, to allow a commerical advertisement promoting a children's hospital funded by a Christian church. Harmless enough, you would think, But ESPN has a strict policy against religious content. It would appear that we are becoming a secular society, at last. But, its the way our founders wanted it all along.

Our Socialistic but non Marxist Pope

JUST SO THERE'S NO DOUBT: the Pope is not a Marxist. He affirmed that fact in a recent interview, conducted for the purpose of salvaging his Holiness's good name throughout the corporate capitalistic community. Evidently, the new ope, during the first ten months in office, spent a little too much time talking like Jesus, which always arouses the wrath of the capitalists. Joshua ben Joseph, who said "render unto Caesar and "give unto the poor", sounded very much like a socialist, if not an outright Marxist. Pope Francis did say, however, that he knows people who are indeed Marxists, and, for the most part, they are good people. And that, for a capitalist, is quite a concession. The reason the Pope was widely suspetcted of being a Marxist is that he seems to be highly socialistic in his thinking, which is to say he seems to advocate cooperative economics and greater economic equality globally. But he has probably never even read any Karl Marx, and is thus not conversant with the political theory behind class war and dictatorship of a universal working class. Anyone who advocates uplifting the impoverished, a more equitable distribution of wealth, and economic democracy will invariably be labeled a "marxist" or a "communist" by the Christian conservative right. How fascinating, that in our modern world, much of Christiandom is aligned with capitalism. Ironic, really. The Pope is no communist, nor is he an avowed "socialist", because he doesn't want to be labeled. Nor does Pope Francis believe that two billion people should live in poverty, or that huge corporations and cartels should own and control the world. But he does have the heart and soul of a compassionate advocate of giving unto the poor, like any good Christian.

Coming To Terms With Our Spy Happy World

SHORTLY AFTER THE ENTIRE WORLD, including we the American people, rose up in outraged verbal indignation at the new knowledge that the United States government has its nose in everybody's business, without permission, President Obama entered damage control mode. You can rest assured that Barack Hussein Obama has no desire to be remembered as the American President who happily, knowingly presided over the advent of the most agregious national spy network in human history. And if he isn't careful, that's exactly what he'll come to be known for. When in doubt, form a committee. Obama's scapegoat committee is called something like "The Internet and Technology Advisory Group", certainly impressive sounding enough to gain attention. Their job was to do a little research, and then tell the President what he should do, if anything, about the intelligence gathering without permission community in the American government. That's quite a chore; hell, by the time you get through writing down the names of all the different American spy agenices, you're out of ink, dead tired, and thoroughly confused. The members of this team/committee are all alleged high tech internet experts. Fine. Their recommendation? Nobody knows. All we are getting from the President are vague, generic platitudes, such as "we know we are doing nothing wrong, but it is important to counter the popular misconconception that we are." Oh, whatever. This isn't going away soon, folks. Information is simply too valuable a commodity/weapon/tool to be ingored, or to be respected when in someone else's possession. The advertising on this and every other website is taylored to whatever person is reading the website, based on the visotor's personal interests, which probably nobody should even know other than a few close friends and family members. Can you imagine what the federal American governmnet knowsw about you? Maybe things you yourself atren't even aware of.

Making the Word "President" Respectable

THERE ARE NEARLY TWO HUNDRED countries on planet Earth, and over one hundred forty of them have a head of state which they call a "president". Funny thing is, until the new formed United States of America decided to call its head of state its "President", nobody else did so. It took a great deal of stress and strain to decide on the proper title for the head of state of the new United States. The easy part was deciding who the leader would be. That was no problem, there was only one choice: it had to be Geroge Washington, the hero of Yorktown, the gladiator who forced Lord Cornwallis and the British to lay down their arms, and leave quietly. During the firt years of the nineteenth century, Washington was the closes Americans had to a a royal, regal leader. A statue was erected of George Washington on the Boston Common; and was dressed in a Roman style toga, after the fashion of a Caesar. But what to call the new leader of the country? The most popular idea was to call ehe American leadr "king", in keeping with thousands of years of tradition. The "King" would stand for election every four years. Some king. But still, "king" was too strong a word; a war had just been fought to escape kingly government. Other suggested titles were pompous to the point of being ridiculous. Things like "the high and Mighty Father of his Imperial Domain", long, drawn nonsense like that. When the term "President" was suggested, everybody laughed. "President"? A president is a person who presides over something, like a town meeting. Certianly not a national leader. The very notion of calling teh national leader something so puny as a "president" was laughed at, becuase the word was suggested as a means of edmeaning teh leader, making hiim less than a king, making him mundane, and humble. Those who advocated teh humble approach to nameing won th edya, and got ehrie way. It was almost done as a joke, It would never last. But, sometimes woreds just dort of catch on, and vbecome popular. Just as the terms "yankee" and cowboy" were invented as put downs, so was the term "president". But no longer. Hail to the Chief.

Living With Doomsday Beneath Our Feet

JUST WALKING AROUND YELLOWSTONE National Park, the smell of sulfur in the air, gases bubbling up in every body of water and mud puddle, you get the idea that there is something big going on below ground. The giant volcano beneath Yellowstone wasn't discovered until relatively recently, and has been the object of intense study ever since It was discovered that the volcano erupts and drastically changes the Earth's climate every six hundred and forty thousand years, and has done this three times in the past, and is overdue for another eruption right now. This knowledge represents yet another doomsday threat hanging over the human race, as if we didn't already have enough. It seems like every few days a new asteroid is discovered, some chunk of solid rock the size of a city, hurtling through space, just barely missing the Earth, sparing us once again. When will our luck run out? We had better build some system to deflect incoming asteroids. Where is Ronald Reagan's "Star Wars" system when you need it? The threat from Yellowstone seems impossible to confront, with divine or alien intervention. How do you stop a gigantic volcano from erupting? By siphoning off its energy, a little bit every day? To make matters worse, it has been discovered withtin the past few months, using exact measurements of earthquakes in the Yellowstone area, that the volcano is actually two and a half times larger than we previously thought - and we thought it was pretty damned big before. What would happen if it erupted? The atmosphere would be flooded with ash over the whole world, not permanently, but long enough to kill all plant life, all wildlife, all human life. And it isn't due. Its overdue. How ironic, that the greatest threat to the world is in the United States , after all. Much of the world has long feared that the U.S.A. would destroy the world, and so it might, but not exactly in the expected way. The United States has thousands of atomic bombs, and an even bigger timebomb right under its own feet.

Making the Will of the People Known, En Masse.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE COURAGEOUS PEOPLE in the Ukraine, who have gathered several hundred thousand people together in the center of the capitol Kiev, in order to make their wishes known to their government. Those wishes involve diplomatic and economic considerations. The Ukrainian people seem to want their country to join closely with the European economies, while their President is steering the Ukraine in the direction of closer economic ties with Russia. So, as is often the case, the will of the people, at least until now, has gotten lost in the shuffle. People of the Ukraine, we the American people know exactly how you feel! Don't we, American people? ::hands being rasied, all over America:: For decades, the American people have indicated, in survey after survey, by large majorities, that they prefer spending American money on Americans and American problems at home, not on foreign wars and misadventures. The American people prefer to increase social spending to create jobs and eliminate poverty, and to reduce spending on a never ending parade of high tech military weapons. The American people believe that the United States need not necessarily be in conrtol of anything which occurs in other countries, and that there is no need for the United States to continue being a global empire, policing the entire world. But the American government does nothing to listen and respond. Well, give the people of the Ukraine credit; though they have had far less experience exercising popular democratic political power, they seem to be doing a rather nice job of making their wishes known, in no uncertain terms. AT least they are willing to do that. We Americans aren't, it would seem.