Having Good Judgment, Even In High School

WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, two score and seven years ago, I did not have sex. Not that I didn't want to, but I was afraid to, afraid to do what was necessary. That means, essentially, bargaining. Forming a connection with a female, in my case, and trying to very subtlely enchant her and entice her into having sex. The meat market mating game, at all ages, is, after all, something of a bargaining process, as are, ultimately all human transactions. I found this process tedious, awkward, and cumbersome in high school, and have found it so ever since. Therefore, I am a virgin, at sixty three. Well, not quite, but close enough. Even at eighteen I was aware of the dangers of sex, the dangers we all know so well. It is neither automatic, inevitable, justified nor necessary to be ignorant and possessed of poor judgment at a young age. Certainly, I missed out on some fun, maybe, but quite possibly avoided some pitfalls as well. I recall hearing my friends brag about their sexual conquests, and rolling my eyes. Nearly fifty years later, the same friends brag about the same sexual conquests, and once again I roll my eyes. Oh my, how we American men love to brag about our sexual conquests, from high school to retirement age. On the National Public Radio program "ON The Media" the topic was sexual scandals of the nineteen nineties, and how the media misreported them, and mistreated the women involved. The women discussed were: Monika Lewinsky, Lorena, Bobbitt, Tanya Harding, and...Anita Hill. For those of a certain age, these names will ring a very loud bell, for those unfamiliar, there is easy access to the relevant information. The NPR take was that in each case, the media had, at the time of the scandals, unfairly vilified the women, and that now, in retrospect, we can see how unfair their treatment was. There is some element of truth to this theme. Only Anita Hill, however, remains entirely free from blame. Monika Lewinsky was indeed put through the proverbial media ringer, overly scrutinized, overly criticized and ridiculed, much maligned. It can be argued, however, that even a smitten twenty one year old female intern, smitten with the American president, should have the good judgment to refrain from accepting his sexual advances, should recognize said president as a sexual predator, a married one, and should run, fast. As abused as Lorene Bobbitt was by her crazy husband, and as under reported as her victimization was in the media, a better alternative for her would have been to flee, call the police, and get a restraining order, rather than to remove her husband's penis surgically. Tanya Harding had a rough upbringing and marriage too. Responding to it by paying a hit man to whack her chief figure skating rival in the legs with a blunt instrument is hardly the appropriate response, hardly justified. Anita Hill would be treated much better in today's environment, would most likely not be asked by a United States Senator in public, in front of an entire nation: "Are you a scorned woman"? Her contention that Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas placed a pubic hair on her can of Coke was probably not a fabrication, as most accusations by women of sexual misbehavior are not fabricated, but, alas, we will never know. What we do know is that although these media made women were indeed mistreated by the media, all of them, except Anita Hill, exercised very poor judgment. The exercise of poor judgment in matters of sex inevitably has undesirable consequences, as we all know. They all, except for Anita Hill, whose behavior was consistently intelligent. would have been much better off to have had the same level of maturity and good judgment as I had in high school. If I can do it, anybody can.