Smiling Too Closely

THE PHOTOGRAPH HAS BECOME, and presumably shall long remain, what we often refer to as "iconic" in the vernacular of the day. It went "viral", in the vernacular of today. Two gentlemen, evident strangers, standing uncomfortably close to one another, one an elderly gentleman in native American attire, the other, a young gentleman, a teenager, with an almost stereotypically modern American appearance, handsome, seemingly intelligent, alert, wearing a facial expression which on the surface is a warm smile, yet with something implied, something beneath the surface, an expression not of warm, friendly acceptance, but rather, a smirk of derisive condescension, the dismissive smile of contempt, with which everyone is familiar. We've all seen that smirking smile on the faces of prize fighters as they stand toe to toe, much too close to each other, in the center of the ring, just before trying to kill each other in mortal pugilistic combat. The two gentlemen were too close to each other, for strangers, well within each other's personal space, "too close for comfort", as the cliché goes. The older gentleman gives the impression of determination to not be interrupted at his task, to ignore the other man, or to proceed with his activity as if not at all troubled. His activity, his purpose was to present for public viewing a sacred native American ancient ritual, in celebration of his cultural heritage. What was the young gentleman's purpose? Why was he there? Which of the two approached the other, and got inappropriately close? Amid all the emerging controversy concerning camera angles and points of view, there seems to be no disagreement that in fact the native American man and his colleagues did not approach anyone, but merely occupied their own space in displaying their ceremony. The young man, and his high school colleagues, approached the elder - and got uncomfortably close, as if forcing his attention on the Indian banging on his drum. The young man at no point attempted to introduce himself properly, courteously, nor did he extend his hand in an offer of handshaking friendship, not did he evidently attempt to engage the old man in friendly conversation. Apparently, he just stood, close, and stared, derisively, as the iconic photo indicates. His defenders claim that he really "didn't do anything", or "say anything". Arguably, walking up to a perfect stranger and "getting in his face", as we like to say, meets the criteria for "doing something". That he didn't say anything is the problem; proper courtesy requires that when approaching another person, words be spoken, a hand extended in friendship. There is universal agreement that the young must show proper respect for their elders at all times. The young man, and his family, insist he has nothing to apologize for. The media is reminding us that the situation was far more complicated, and involved more people doing more things, than is shown in a single photograph. That may be true, but perhaps irrelevant to the issue of common courtesy. Regardless, the young man and his friends had from the beginning the option of not approaching the native American group, but instead remaining at a safe and respectful distance, and, as we like to say, "minding their own business". With regard to apologies, for an honorable gentleman, young or old, to acknowledge his own discourtesy and to express regret for it is never inappropriate, under any circumstances.