Dealing With Russia, Somehow

WHEN I WAS IN TENTH GRADE, in 1971, I tried to learn the Russian language, but never got much farther than "da" and "nyet". Oh, yes, and "saladna". Blue cheese, please. I had grown up fascinated with the Soviet Union, as many people my age did, because of the Cold War, handsome Kennedy, Khrushchev slamming his shoe on the table at the U.N., my classmates and I hiding beneath our wooden desks in grade school, protecting myself from falling atomic bombs which never fell. Evean as an eight year old J saw how stupid and useless that was, nothing but theater. Somehow, I never thought the bombs would fall. We were always on the verge of war with those hated Russians, but somehow, never at war, at least not real war. In the nineteen sixties I was trained to hate the Russians, like all good Americans brainwashed by the freedom of capitalism served up by our corporate masters. The first time I heard the term "Viet Nam", as a nine year old in 1964, I thought it must be somewhere in Russia, since everything else bad seemed to be. In graduate school I studied Russian history, but made no new attempt to learn the language. Nyet. I was impressed by the bizarre chaos of Russian history. Look who's talking; an American. They have Ivan the Terrible, but we have now, at long last, gotten even; we have Trump the Crazy. Half of the people who visit this website are Russians; more people read my essays in Russia than in the United states, probably because of my unrelenting criticism of and contempt for American culture and policy. So, yes I love the Russians! I liked Nikita, for some reason, maybe it was the shoe, but, admittedly, I don't like Putin at all. I dislike Putin so much that I nearly despise him as much as I despise Donald Trump, and that's saying something. I was angry at Russia when it invaded Afghanistan in 1979, and angry at America when it followed suit in 2003. Even I know that nobody ever invades Afghanistan and lives to tell about it. Ask Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and all the others. Today, I got angry with Russia again, for kidnapping an American and accusing him of being a spy, when he obviously is not, merely because the United States arrested and charged a real Russian spy of being a Russian spy. The Russian spy is a beautiful women, which perhaps is why Russia wants her back, and will probably offer a trade. Russia has more hot (beautiful, for those Russians unfamiliar with American jargon) spies than we Americans; there is, regrettably, a "hot spy gap", and the United States is on the short end of it. I'm sure we'll catch up; we have plenty of ambitious, adventuresome, hot young women to choose from, and we Americans always catch up with the Russians, in space, and in missiles, if not in chess. The Russian government simply does not play fair, but look who's talking; an American. My hope is that both countries get new leaders soon, and that the tens of millions of workers in both countries finally realize their common interests, unite, overthrow the elite powerful wealthy of both countries, and create true equality, political, social, and economic equality, just like Marx an Lenin dreamed. Come to think of it, the way I talk, maybe I should have been born a Russian.