Going Heels In The Natural State

AS CONCEAL AND CARRY LAWS swept across the fruited plain in the United States of Aggression, Arkansas fell prey, and ended up with a law which allowed colleges, universities, and a few other places to opt out, and prohibit arms on campus. Then, nightmarishly, the right winger NRA Christian nut case types at the capitol went full berserk, and removed the exemption clause. Suddenly, Arkansan institutions of higher education were no longer given the option of keeping folks from concealing and packing, including, believe it or not, at football games. Seventy thousand units of meat in the seats, Razorbacks and Crimson Tide battling it out below, with who knows how many drunk, crazy, or angry fans, including twenty thousand twenty something students sitting close to the field, packing heat, ready to explode. A recipe for a mass killing mayhem of biblical proportions, right? Hell, like I told a friend: I'd probably end up shooting everybody standing on the Alabama side of the field, then reload. None of the sane sort of people, including footballs players, relished this prospect. Most of the players allowed as that the thought left them feeling "uncomfortable." The University of Arkansas was at risk of being banished from the Southeastern conference, and the late great state of Arkansas was in dire peril of being boycotted, ridiculed, and hauled into a sanitarium with a throng of shrinks, for intense psychotherapy. But, at length, the sane prevailed, an all too rare occurrence in our beloved of the legally insane. The exemption was restored, and football fans will have to find a way to get by without the comforting feeling of their glock in their pocket. And I wont' have to choose between paranoically sweeping my gaze back and forth across the entire crowd the entire game, or not going. The right wing nut case types must be deeply depressed 'long about now, but, hell, they'll get over it, and besides, they can pack heat damned near anywhere else, just not at Razorback football games.