Finding A Church

I'M ALMOST CERTAIN that my search is over, and that I have found what I'm looking for. Namely, a church for me. My search, a fun project, took a little over a year and involved visits to five different churches. By the time I was eight years old, I knew I would almost certainly never be religious in the normal traditional sense, and that I would definitely never be a Christian. The Christian Bible drove me away froom it. I would rather learn from my mistakes and be done with them than have my sins washed away in blood. I spent my youth as an unobservant atheist, and finally, when I was twenty years old, decided to believe in God, only because I wanted to. I could define "God" however I chose; I evolved into a pantheist. But I never stopped admiring the essential message of Jesus Christ, even though much of what he said is either a bit weird, or just plain mean. As reigious scholar Bart Ehrman points out, the Old Testament is harsh, God is harsh, to say the least, and the New Testament, with Jesue providing a covenant whcih does not refute the old law, nearly as harsh. Another word for is is barbaric, primitive, or even cruel. Not the religion for me. I visited a fundamentalist mega church, with loud brass praise music, a very dark room and well lighted stage, a GQ strutting minister, and bloody salvation. Definitely not for me. I attended two different Methodist churches, both very pleasant. I returned frequently to a tiny, rustic Presbyterian church, with a congregation of about ten people, all friends of mine who I see daily at the senior center. I want a bigger community than that, and I want to meet new people. Then, after much procrastination and many thoughts and delays, I drove the twenty miles to the nearby college town to the Universal Unitarian church. On my way there, I realized that I would have to fall in love with the place to be willing to drive forty miles, round trip, once a week to get there. When I arrived, I said precisely that to the people I met. They seemed to understand. My initial reaction to the building and the congregation and clergy was quite favorable, and only got more favorable. There were about eighty or a hundred people, the perfect size for me. Mostly older folks, many older than I.I almost thought that we needed more younger people, then, hell, it dawned on me that am seventy years old. Actually, its a pretty good balance, including some children, but not many. The service last almost exacty one hour, and I thorougly enjoyed every minute of it. The minister is a pleasant lady, cheeful, welcoming, who did not deliver a sermon, but merely mentioned what the Unitarian church is all about, which edified me, but might have seemed a bit repititious to the regulars. The hymns they sang inspired me to joy and comfort. They were utterly, beautfully transcendantly sublime. We sang two, I think, and I hope there is a hymnal full of them. I am assured that there indeed is.I want to memorize and sing them all. There wa a guest speaker, as I suspect there might usually be. Perhaps one every week. I hope so. A pleasant genteleman gave an illuminating twenty minute talk "What is Hinduism? I learned a lot. The folks were friendly; several inroduced themselves, with a brief chat. One lady's dog, a real sweetheart, put her head on my foot, and I gave her more love than she might have expected. She has more coming.I also enjoyed the discussion group downstairs before the service. I like it, and plan to come back for me. Jesus Christ was never mentioned. I have faith that he is enfolded deeply within their love. Whether I will return to this happy pleasant place is a question I find easy to answer.