Forgiving Our Own Mistakes

TOMORROW, Sunday May 11, I intend to return t what seems to've become my "home" church, the little old brick country church deep down in the dell. As always, my chief intent will be to give thanks, to express gratitude, wht one of my favorite footboll coaches called "an attitude of gratitude". They say gratitude improves one's health, I tend to believe it. My last Sundy's visit among the progressive Methodists proved quite rewarding, and I plan to return some day, for another visit. I can't for the life of my tell a dime's worth of difference between progressive Methodists and Presbyterians, but, as they say, that's another matter, fodder for another day's reflection. I made two basic mistakes while with the Methodists. They asked folks to come forth and receive commuion at the alter, rather thn bringing it to you in your pew as they do in my tiny Presbyterian church. So be it. I received the body smoothly, but failed, perhaps on account of either premature dementia, or lack of experience,failed to imerse it in the blood. By the time I realized this, it was too late. The young lady holding the vessel of blood wine looke surprised,and I apologized, claiming dementia and inexperience, and she smiled in apparent understanding and forgiveness. She and I both agreed that, in any event, its the thought that counts. In a somewhat cullinary context, I failed to bring a contribution to the pot luck Mexican style lunch after the service, and yet, I unabshadly stuffed myself with incredibly delicious food. My atttitude towards both situations was, and remains, "when in Rome". I forgive myself, as I would forgive anyone else. I regret yet simultaneously embrace my mistakes, aware of their educational value. Never again shall I screw up either communion or a good potluck after church church meal. I quote Goethe: "Since everyone makes mistakes, since even the greatest people among us make mistakes, we have no basis upon which to regard our own mistakes as unforgivable." Surely Jesus agrees. Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. It occurs to me that whereas the Christian religion, as its central doctrine, holds that one seeks forgiveness and is forgiven only through acceptance of Christ as lord and savior, and by asking God for it. My tendency is to believe that the most important form of forgiveness is the forgiveness of one's self. Another tendency of mine is to accept, as the proper doctrine of all religions, what Goethe meant when he said: "Behold the phenomena, for they are the doctrine." Our creator speaks to us by giving us the ability to comprehend reality. not by writing books. And, of course,perhpas Goethe's most profound fact: "When I realized that everyone invents his own religion, I decided to invent mine". For me, attending a Christian church is, in the final analysys, simply one more way, of many, for me to facilitate my continuing spiritual evolution. I'd be equalIy interested in attending an Islamic or Hindi religious service, or, for that matter, any of the more than four thousand different religions available on planet Earth. I still have no idea how much longer I will continue to attend church, considering how strongly I disagree and actually dislike several of the fundamental tenets of the Christian religion. But as I continue to enhance my belief that there is no actual imcompatability between me and the essential message of Christianity, love and redemption, perhaps, just maybe, I will never stop.