Busted, Going To Facebook Jail

FOR THE FIRST TIME in my heretofore clean criminal record of a life, I was sent to Facebook jail, for a term not to exceed twenty four hours, arbitrarily snet up the metaphorical river to the slammer without any formal indictment or trial, where I have served my time, and, will soon find out whether I have actually been released, by signing on to Facebook, and seeing what the hell happens. I have never been in real jail in real time either, but, that is another matter, irrelevant here. Knock on wood, as they say. At first I was shocked and humiliated,but soon relized that, like Trump with regard to double impeachment, I could and should wear my ostensible ignomony as a badge of honor, if a perverse one. In a nutshell, as we used to say, here's what went down, as we say today: Somebody on my "friends" list posted a picture of a dead elephant, a big, beautiful but very dead elephant, with a monster of a hunter-killer standing in front of the animal, attired in hunting apparel, huge rifle in hand, grinning smugly, with a well trimmed white beard of the Henningway type, but without, doubtless, the intellectual or literary skills to back it up. The photo enraged all good people, including me. I went off like a rocket, as we say. I posted: "I'd like to shoot the bastard". Threats of violence violate Facebook community standards, and off to jail I went, without a trial, to be fed a diet of Twinkies and water for a day. Its true, I would like to shoot the bastard, or better yet, and with great poetic justice, would like to witness his being trampled to death by either a single elephant or a herd of elephants, take your pick. Everybody I have proudly talked to about my incarceration shares my conviction: they, including my friends and familly members, would like to shoot the bastard too, and all are proud of me, justifiably. Consider me a modern Martin Luther King, or Henry David Thoreau, or, heaven forbid, a pale imitation of Jesus; punished unfairly for trying to do good. A regular martyr for justice, I. Or, as David (Davy) Crockett wrote in the preface to his best selling autobiography: "Most authors seek fame, but I seek justice". Many people have posted that they have been sent to Facebook jail, for reasons which they could not explain. To me this is doubtful: Facebook explains exactlly why they send people to jail, and they explain it to the "criminal"...clearly. I know exactly why I was sent, and it was, I must admit, just. And yet, I am proud of my behavior, and I have not changed my attitude. May all the bastards in the world who wantonly slaughter animals for pure pleasure be trampled to death beneath the feet of angry alephants... or disptched..by me.