Scouting With The Girls

THE ERA OF "Separate but Equal" in the realm of girl and boy scouting is apparently soon to be over. Inclusiveness shall rule the day. Beginning next year, girls will be admitted into the boy scouts, a celebration of gender equality and neutrality. This is the evident culmination of a trend which began several years go. In 2013, gay boys were for the first time allowed to join, openly, with no mention of "don't ask eon't tell". Up until then, they joined, but clandestinely. A couple of years later, scout leaders were allowed to be gay, without pretending otherwise. The coup de grace came when transgender boys, formerly girls, got the keys to the kingdom. Membership in the Boy Scouts is like membership in everything else in America; declining. Meanwhile, the national chair woman/person of the female scouts of America has issued a statement accusing the male scouts of opening their door to girls only for the purpose of boosting their sagging membership by stealing people, luring little girls away from their proper places and kidnapping them, or something like that. The lady is either jealous, unaware of modern society's current politically correct egalitarian tendencies, of just plain old crazy, with a head full of conspiracy theories, which most Americans are these days. In the United States of Accusation, there is a conspiracy theory for every conceivable occasion. Next, we may expect to see reciprocity, the Girl Scouts admitting boys, in member stealing retaliation. Will the day come when one can simultaneously join both, and learn camping and citizenship skills twice, like beans fried twice on the open campfire, outdoors, for good measure? Stay tuned. Considering how tolerant and open minded we are all trying to become, straight, gay, bi, and former boys-turned-transgender newly minted girls will be flocking across the isle soon. The next phase is of course conservative reaction on social media. Never doubt the right wing's intent to weigh in with guns and hatred blazing. Will there be a spike in underage sexually predatory incidents and accusations among kids in green uniforms and merit badges? If not, surely one will be invented, using statistics, to fill the void in conservative thinking. Who will go to the bathroom first, with whose supervision, and the biggest question confronting us of all: which bathroom? You can bet your kind, reverent and obedient merit badge we will soon begin tacking these urgent issues, vocerifously.