Losing Squirrel, For The Time Being

SHE WAS CUTE, as all cats are, friendly, with a beautiful silvery coat. She came to my yard looking underweight, a seeming stray. I couldn't put up with that, so I began to feed her, and she kept coming back. She rarely ate much. I named her 'Sylvia", and adopted her. Then suddenly I found out that she belonged to my neighbor, and her name was "Squirrel". My neighbor and I compared notes, and he told me that she wasn't eating for him either. She kept lingering in my yard, the only problem being that my own cat, Cassandra, was freaked out by her presence, and began to spend an alarming amount of time away from home. Cassandra was playing the part of the jealous female, unwilling to put up with competition for affection. So, I was forced to start encouraging Squirrel to stay out of my yard. This she was reluctant to do. She kept getting worse, losing weight, and my neighbor took her to the vet. She was diagnosed with feline leukemia. My neighbor had originally vaccinated her against rabies and distemper, but not leukemia. The vet put her on an emergency diet of ultra care food, but it didn't help, and she died. She nearly died in my arms, as I tried, unsuccessfully, to stop weeping. She seemed to want to be left alone. My neighbor came over, and said three beautiful things to her. "You have been so good for me", he said. Then he said "I will see you again". And then, finally, "I love you". At this point the tears began to flow, As she lay dying, we decided it might be best to let her lie quietly and alone, as she seemed to prefer. She lay beneath my car all night, and in the middle of the night, it rained. As I lay in bed I prayed that the lord would take her before the cold rain made her uncomfortable, and I believe that is what happened. I will always remember Squirrel girl, and I will always remember the beautiful words spoken to her as she left her life behind. I think I know more than ever why people feel the need to believe in a benevolent God. how else can we suffer the "slings and arrows" of this life of suffering? Although I have no idea what sort of first cause set the universe in motion, I choose to believe that the force is anthropomorphic, as most people do, despite the complete lack of any evidence to that effect. We resist the truth, Goethe said, only because we fear that we might perish if we accepted it. I choose to believe that when I die I will be reunited with every dog and cat I have ever loved, and that Squirrel girl and my dear neighbor and will dwell eternally in the embrace of a loving God.