Exploding Sewers

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT it couldn't get any worse. Everybody in the united states is still upset about finding out that our own government spies on us, we are trying to get over that, trying to come to terms with life beneath big brother, and now it turns out that there's even more to worry about. Out toilets are wired. You heard that right, believe it or not. In western upstate new york, the sewer, water, sanitation department has been having trouble with clogged sewer lines. They quickly figured out the cause. People are starting to use a fancy substitute for regular toilet paper, something called wet wipes. Also, two ply toilet paper use is on the increase. Americans want to wipe their butts in style. Monitoring and surveillance devices placed in this western new york sewer system tracked the wet wipes and two ply toilet paper to the exact houses whence they came, if you can believe that! Word is that once the houses are located, the occupants are warned that their use of such fancy ass toilet paper substitute will eventually wreck their own sewer system inside their house. There is no word yet on happens if the occupants refuse to stop using fancy toilet paper substitute, and continue sinning. One scenario has reapeatedly offending houses lying in a smoldering pile of rubble, after being visited by a SWAT team of toilet cops, black helicopter and all. Furthermore, indications are that this problem, clogged sewers, is beginning to appear all over america, as fancy toilet paper becomes popular. Consider this a plea to all good americans to return to the primitive but halcyon days of cheap, single ply, six rolls for a dollar generic toilet paper from dollar general. Otherwise, we'll be paying trillions of dollars rebuilding our exploded sewers. They clog up, then they blow up. A clog of wet wipes the size of a double decker english bus was allegedly found beneath the streets of london, england. Can america be far "behind"?