Ted Cruz Cleaning Grout

ACCORDING TO TED CRUZ, conservative republican presidential candidate, nobody is qualified to become president of the United States unless he or she begins each day on his or her knees. Cruz didn't specify whether he was referring to cleaning grout, having oral sex, or praying; let's play it safe and go with the prayer concept, and leave it at that. Only a devout Christian is qualified to be president, according to his santicmonious devoutness. This is bad news for George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and others, including Abraham Lincoln. None of these folks was a devout Christian. Washington had a strict policy: never kneel to anyone, God or man. Formally an Episcopalian, a faith in which one genuflects at the drop of a hat, Washington was never on his knees in church, nor anywhere else. He didn't take communion, preferring to leave the building early. While he was president, Washington was visited by a group of ministers, who requested that the president declare Jesus Christ his lord and savior. Washington wouldn't do it. Thomas Jefferson thought it was hilarious, and said: "the old fox has outrun the hounds". Washington, a notoriously taciturn man, never talked about his religion, or about much of anything. Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton had an outstanding wager concerning the true nature of Washington's religiosity. Neither man ever collected. Your best bet is that George was a deist, which most intelletcuals of the day were, including jefferson, John Adams, Madison, and Monroe. (see: "Nature's God: the Heretical Origins of the American Republic", by Mathew Stewart). lincoln never talked much about his religion either; nobody ever heard him describe himself as a Christian. You can count on Ted Cruz to refuse to accept these historical facts; you can hope that while on his knees, Cruz prays for a little common sense, some good history books, and intelligence, which he will not receive if he is only down there to clean grout.