Following the Christian Conservative Christ

THIS TIME, POPE FRANCIS the whatever number he is has really gone and done it. He has angered the American Christian conservative community, and for that, he shall surely rot in Limbaugh-Cruz hell. The vicar of christ has made the terrible mistake of espousing Christian values, which, as we know, one must never do when speaking with our American Christian conservative community. Build bridges, not walls, says the Pope to the Trump. Within the American Christian conservative community, capitalism is king, and the free market Christ towers above all, even Trump towers. One must work for one's living, and, failing that, one must starve, because, within the American Christian conservative community, free handouts and government welfare programs only enhance the plight of the poor, by rendering them dependant on others, and a burden unto the wealthy, who, within Christian conservadom, wish dearly to hold on to their hard earned money. Put those loaves of bread back wherever they came from, distribute fishes to nobody, join the TEA pary, andmake 'em work for it, for we are taxed enough already, and Caesar can only ask for so much. Besides, what would Caesar possibly do with all that tax revenue? Instead of strengthening the military to defend freedom's free market land in the name of the capitalistic Christ, Caesar would probably fritter it away on, you guessed it, the unseemly poor, whom the New Testament socialistic Christ would prepare for heaven, and, doubtless, further mooching off the power that resideth thereat. It turns out, you see, that the Holy father is something of a socialist, just like the new testament version of Jesus, the version disdained by our christian conservative brethren and sistern, in that he thinks folks oughta render unto Caesar, sell whatsoever they hast, and give unto the poor, and by so doing reduce themselves to a condition of voluntary poverty, in order to steer the camel around the eye of the needle, pass go, and enter into the kingdom heaven. The American Christian conservative Christ is a bit different to the one portrayed in the gospels. The conservative christ shall keep all the poor from entering into our american borders, unless they can contribute to the free market by selling their labor at the fair market price, which is defined as as little as the employer can get away with. If only Pope Francis would stop following that penniless, homeless teacher from Nazareth, and look to Adam Smith instead, he'd be on the road to Christian conservative salvation.