Putting Foot In Mouth

SOMEONE ASKED ME if I ever put my foot in my mouth. I was tempted to respond that no, I didn't, but I could, since I am quite flexible. Instead I said "about every ten minutes", trying to be self deprecatingly funny. What actually seems to happen most often is related, but different. I end up saying things I stand behind, and believe to be the truth, and other people are utterly appalled, and no doubt would say that I had stuck my foot in my mouth, or something equally horrible. Often this happens in context with some remark I make about the two great bugaboos, religion and politics. My sisxt grade teacher, fifty years ago, told us never to discuss religion and politics, and I can see why, but I didn't like the advice then, and I don't like it now, though I have learned when to follow it. Several months ago, when I turned sixty and joined the local senior center, people started inviting me to church, as if I had spent my entire life confused or agnostic, and could use a bit of education. My first, reflex reaction was to accept all offers, and promise to appear in the pews later. But it never happened. Upon further reflection, I realized I had no interest of sitting in church with a bunch of republicans, and listen to them talk about a man who said "render unto Caesar", and "give unto the poor". In my mind, Jesus and the TEA party just do not mix. So I never showed up to church. Eventually, a couple of inquiries came in, why hadn't I been seen on Sunday? It would have been easy to dismissively concoct and tender excuses, but, no, not me, I like to go for the truth, the whole truth, particulary is someone asks an intrusive question, and is likely to be offended by an honest answer. Telling people that I had thought about it, and come to the conclusion that I didn't want to attend church with a bunch of conservatives, and there you go; foot in mouth. Only, not in my mind. Theirs maybe, but not mine.