Real American Problems

ACCORDING TO A NEW GALLUP POLE, the biggest problem the United States faces is unemployment. Last week the biggest problem was "government and politicians", and the week before that, it might have been North Korea, or environmental damage. It could have been anything, and it still could. We Americans like to keep our problems fresh, and keep 'em guessing, even if it means bringing old complaints out of storage for periodic examination. There's an expanded menu to select from. So many of our problems seem amorphous, and distant, it becomes easy to slide them under and out from under the couch. For sheer staying power, you'd have to give your vote to climate change; people living next to Chesapeake Bay report that their estates are getting wet around the edges. Same in the South Pacific, where small islands are already disappearing beneath the waves. How much of our disposable personal income will be confiscated by governments desperate to keep their nations afloat? Will our big screen TVs be beaten into bailing buckets and sand bags, of necessity? Can you imagine how much wealth will be required to keep sea water out of Manhattan, to keep it from inundating the billions of people who live near the oceans? We Americans prefer to spend our hard earned money on weaponry, and entertainment, rather than, say, education, roads and bridges, or clean water. We like the sexy stuff. The mundane necessities of daily life are so, um, boring. But if we're not careful, we'll have to cut back on warfare in foreign countries, and get to work on food, water, clothing, and shelter, and we might even have to invite fun house folks like Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber to give the rest of us a hand.