Defending Honesty, at a Price

I GOT OUT of my car, book in hand, and walked straight to my favorite picnic table, sat down, and began to read. Nothing like John Grisham on a bright sunny spring day. My son was in the middle school building, somewhere, taking examinations.

A young man approached me, and said "may I help you"?  I replied "no thank you". Lingering, he made some cursory remark about the weather, and the pleasures of a good read on a bright day. I agreed. Looking a bit disappointed, he bade farewell, and went on.

Soon another gentleman, somewhat older, approached, and asked "may I help you"? I now began to wonder what it was about me that made it seem as if I needed all this help. Suddenly I understood. What he really wanted was to know who I was, and what I was doing there. Our modern age of fear.

So I told him, and he seemed much more satisfied than the previous teacher. As he turned happily to go about his business, I said "and thank you for your offer. I ever I need your assistance, I will remember your kind words." This seemed to confuse him for a moment, but, bemused, he nodded and walked away, as if non plussed at having his true intentions exposed.

All too soon a middle aged lady approached and said to me "may I help you"? I looked at her and smiled, and she continued "I saw you walking around, and you seemed totally confused. I thought maybe you were looking for a building."

Wondering how anyone who walks straight from car to picnic table with book in hand can appear "confused" to anyone, I responded with my name, rank , serial number, and purpose for being on premises. Then came my fatal mistake.

"Why do you people always ask if you can help me, when in fact you want to know who I am, and why I am here?"  I tried not to sound annoyed, but evidently failed. She didn't like this, at all. "Don't I have a right to protect this school"?  she blurted out.

Well, of course, I thought. That's what you should do, absolutely. So why not simply do it, rather than feign interest in helping somebody when in fact you only want to know who ther are, and why they are here?

So I said" if i were looking for some building, I would probably be walking around, and since there is only one building here, well.."  With great truculance, she said something like "well EXCUSE Me for affending you." As she stormed away I assured her I was not offended.

I'm never offended by needless dishonestly, but I am amazed and amused by it. By the senseless posturing, the disingenuine failure to come straight up and take responsibility. Political correctness run amok. Form over substance. Posing.

She obviously ran to the principle and told on me, because my friend the principle suddenly turned cold on me. I'll go apologize for my rudeness, but not for my rear guard defense of the sacred but vanishing ideal of plain, honest talk.