Control, and Freedom

FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN, i, like everyone else, was entirely under the control of other people. And perhaps for all of us life is partly a process by which we gain, incrementally, a certain, yet limited  degree of self determination.

First come the parents, of course, and if we are lucky we have good ones. Then comes school, followed by employment, all under the direct supervision of some form of government, which, if we are lucky, again is a good one. "good" in the sense of inflicting minimum harm and providing at least some modicum of positive benefit for the governed.

That might explain a lot of things in my life,  a lot of my decisions, and the same may be true of others, depending on personality type, resistance to or acceptance of external control, the extent to which any individual functions harmoniously with others.

Although I became a very good tennis player, and greatly enjoyed the game, I never enjoyed playing in tournaments, even though when I did, I often fared quite well, even winning a few. For me it was always more fun choosing my opponents and partners, choosing my own tennis  dates, times, and places.

And with so few opportunities for true freedom in this world, when given the choice, I always chose the greatest amount of freedom.

Marriage has always been out of the question for me, though I greatly respect the institution, and indeed I consider it a primary foundation of civilization. With no desire to either control or be controlled, even compromose, which is a combination of the two, seems undesirable.

that's why  blogging is made for me, is for me, heaven. No editors. No boss. No money, true, but, well, if one likes to write, shouldn't one enjoy it for its own sake, rather than for the sake of money, fame, or status? We all know the answer to that. 

Unless we commit suicide, we don't even get to choose the manner or time of our death. Maybe that's partly why some people commit suicide: one last experience of complete freedom. It is the exception which proves the rule, as they say. I can live without the final freedom.