Singing and Praying

THE PIANO PLAYER for our gospel singing group is an archetypal little old lady, silver, meek, mild, who plays a pretty mean gospel piano. We meet and sing once a week. This time, she stood and looked at us before we began. She sadly told us that her son is in the hospital with a very serious bleeding brain issue, but that the doctor has hopes, and surgery may not be necessary. But he was still in grave danger, his life hanging in the balance. She told us that God has already worked a miracle by keeping him alive. She cried softly, gently. I, we, were shocked. As I recall, she asked us to keep him in our prayers, or something like that. The thought immediately came to my mind that this would be a good time to pray together as a group. Such a good idea, that within a few seconds,any moment now, somebody would surely speak up, and suggest that we all pray together, here, on the spot. I waited, but nothing happened. Nobody moved, nobody made a sound, nobody spoke. Suddenly I decided that I would make the suggestion, and offer to lead the prayer. I am a very good spontaneous impromptu public prayer leader, my prayers are always intellectual, creative, passionate, and positive, and always applicable to all religions, including none, or mine. (I'm not religious. I'm a "pantheist", a follower of Spinoza, almost a deist, but not quite.) The fundamentalist Pentacostals never seem to pick up on that fact, my irreligiosity, nor on my generally disdainful contempt for traditional, organized religions, including Christianity. But, well, and then, that's fine with me. If they ask, I will tell them, and have, in fact.... Then, just as suddenly, I decided not to. I decided not to suggest a group prayer and offer to lead it. Cold feet took over. I suddenly had doubts as to whether they would respect the idea, it coming from me. I probably had it backwards.They probably would have loved the idea, and invited me to say the prayer. I probably made a big mistake, by not taking the plunge, and leading a prayer. To be honest, the thought occurs to me that how ironic it is that the group prayer leader would have been the least and only non-Christian in the grouup, excepting the Buddhist lady who sits next to me, my good friend, who belts it out like a freight train with perfect soprano pitch. Well, maybe next week it will still be appropriate to pray together, in the same context. Even better, God willing, that we pray to ask forgivenes for not praying the first time, and to give thanks for the rapid and miraculous recovery of the piano lady's son, who must be about my age. When we finally got around to singing, we had a good day, everybody singing good and loud, if not always on key. I for one had my best day yet, booming out the crazy, bloody, barbaric lyrics and simplistic tunes in a rich baritone and/or bass. Sometimes tenor. Sometimes all three in a single song. A few mintues after we quit, I approached piano lady and duly informed her that I had already begun praying, and would continue to do so. She, a true beleiver, seemd quite happy to hear this. What I believe is that, if nothing more or less, praying brings us psychological and emmotional comfort, as well as hope, and is therefore helpful. But I still wish to hell that we had all prayed together, as a group, while we had the chance.