Praying, With Purpose

THE LITTLE OLD LADY who kindly plays the piano for our gospel singing group every week had an ancnouncement before we got started. She told us that both of her sons, who had recently been in the hospital with serious medical concerns, one of them in ICU, were both doing much better,improving daily, almost miraculously, and that both would soon be released from the hospital. This filled me, and I assume everyone else with joy. I (we) had been quite worried. Two sons in the hospital, in serious condition. No parent should have to see her own children die. She had told us about the situation a couple of weeks ago, and I had told her that I would pray, which I immediately proceeded to do. Why not? Who knows? I'm open minded. As she looked at us and gave us the good news update, I broke into a proud smile,and she shed a tear or two in happiness. Then she remarked that it was a miracle, that God has answered our prayers, and that she was extremely grateful. The thought suddenly came to me that I too felt grateful. And still another sudden thought: that throughout my life, everytime I have asked for something in prayer,my prayer has been "answered", or, in other words, has come true. I have gotten what I preayed for, everytime. However, I seldom pray to ask for something, for anything. I pray,but almost always it is to give thanks, and to express love and admiration for "the infinitely superior spirit" of the universe. And that is true. It warms my heart, and, to a certain extent, amazes me. Amazes me that my prayers for help, infrequent though they are, are always answered - at least, so far. Again, who knows? I told the church lady this. As I expected, she launched right in, teling me that God loves me, and that I am one of his chosen children, and that his willingness to die for our sins demonstrates his love for us. All well and good, but I have told the lady that I am not A Christian, which indeed I am not. It may be that she thinks that I am becoming one, or that I have the potential to become one...or whatever.... Whatever, she wants me saved; this I know. Well, and then, I fear I will never bes "saved" in precisely the way she would want. Instead, I shall seek and find salvation in my own way, which I indeed have,rather then hers, or anybody else's. I'm a stickler for relgious and intellectual freedom, independence, diversity, and individuality. Call me crazy. Church lady will either have to go on worrying about my eternal soul, as I believe she has been doing for a while now, or, she can simply choose to assume that old Bob has indeed seen the light, has come to Christ, and has been saved, as witnessed by all the gospel singing and praying. I don't need to remind her of my actual religiosity, or lack thereof. I have no obligation to dispell whatever misconceptions she chooses to embrace.I have told her before my true beliefs. She didn't like hearing it then, and she undoubtedly wouldn't want to hear it now. She was horrified then, and would be again. Maybe she has wiped the horrible memory from her mind, the memory of me proclaiming my heathen blasphemous lack of salvation, and replaced it with my salvation. And that's fine with me. That doesn't harm me any, and, well, as they say, whatever works.