Taking The Plunge Among America's Uneducable Senior Set

THE BEST ADVICE I can give is: never, ever saunter into the local senior center in a small conservative southern American town and mention to someone that you consider most of the members to be provincial, poorly educated philistines. Even if you can back up your accusation with cold, hard facts, don't do it. Refrain. Or, as one of America's preeminent past first lady philistines once said about drugs: just say no. (oops, there I go again, just like her husband once said to someone). Somebody might overhear you, and challenge you, with righteous indignation, to prove your case, and worse, you might decide to accept the challenge, and succeed, with ease. All you'll get for your effort is a smug dismissive, condescending stare and sneer, and reduced acceptance within the geriatric community. But if you decide to unwisely take the plunge, here is one option. Say to the challenger: consider socialism. Nearly everyone in this place of conservative republican ill repute makes two generic, oft repeated conservative comments about this much maligned but highly effective economic system: it doesn't work, and its never worked, anywhere in the world. Then provide a list of the socialistic enterprises right across the street in the town square. Include the local police department, local fire department, city streets, public library, the senior center itself, and a few other publicly owned non profit enterprises, like bridges, state and federal highways, public parks, public schools, public universities, and last, but not least, the social security checks which arrive without fail the third day of every month. Gently but firmly remind your poorly educated philistinic challenger that all of the above named enterprises work like a charm, and that without them, the deniers of socialism would themselves be, as they say, shit out of luck. (substitute the word "manure", if you prefer, which you do, whether or not you know it). Then mention Denmark, highly socialistic, but with the highest per capita living standard in the world, well ahead of the U.S.A., which, with its devotion to and submission to corporate capitalism, checks in at about number ten, at last count. You needn't even mention that the other nations ahead of the U.S. are, well, socialistic, even more than our beloved land of the free, which, as mentioned, aint too shabby in its own right in its use of collectivist economics. Tell the challenger, truthfully, that were it nor for socialism, capitalism would collapse, and that they themselves, as mentioned earlier benefit directly form it each and every living day, even as they reject and condemn it. Invite them to tear up their social security checks, Then, run like hell, if you're smart. But again, the best advice is to not take the plunge in the first place. After all, you're dealing with narrow minded, provincial, poorly educated folks here, and by their very nature, they resist the truth, even when its laid out before their very brains in good, plain English, sans obscenities. And after all, they are, dare we say, conservative, which, by definition, means uneducable.