Digging Deep

Last April I turned sixtyl and decided to start having a really good time. So I retired from teaching, yea, went to college, for free, and joined the local senior center. I now spend half my day being way too old, and the other half too young. Mr. In Between, it seems. I like both places, for different reasons. The University is quite simply a beehive of life and intellect, full of bright, beautiful young ladies, which is certainly an asset. The Senior center, I finally figured out, I like because all the communication is face-to-face, person to person, same room, at a table, in a comfy chair. There is a big screen TV in the corner, but nobody ever turns it on. I like the wisdom of these eighty-five year olds, but age no longer matters to me. Nobody ever pulls out a smart phone and stares at it, although most of the seniors seem to have them. Nothing electronic, which for me is a nice respite. Up on campus, every single person walks at about a thirty mile an hour pace, like a freight train, and everyone, most of whom are about twenty years old, stares at a smart phone, constantly, while walking. How they manage not to walk into telephone poles and cars I have, honestly, no idea. Its as if they have a secret, non visual, radar system somewhere. I race up five flights of steps, passing people, get to the top, point at myself, and say to the nearest twenty year old: "sixty. uh huh, that's right". They get a kick out of the old man's antics, though weird they must surely think I am. Saturday, at the worst possible time, one of my cats gets sick, so I rush to the emergency vet, all flustered. I feel the first sense of relief just getting there. A man walks in and asks to have his dog put to sleep; too many miles, too many parts breaking down. The dog was sweet, friendly. Before I could even try to do anything to stop it, this horrible surge of sadness welled up in me, and I started to cry. Had to get up and leave the room, go outside. Oh heavens, where did that come from? Can you imagine what all else is down there, in each and every of us...?