Coming Together: A Synthesis of Ketchup and Cheese

THE KOCK BROTHERS, for whom no cause is ever too right wing to underwrite, have hopped into the sack with the American Civil Liberties Union, for which no cause is ever too liberal. Strange Bedfellows indeed. They both intend to apply pressure to the renowned and huge American incarceration industry to shorten the prison sentences of non violent offenders. Presumably, the "Coke" brothers are concerned primarily with flooding American streets, the streets of the United States of Acquisition, with white collar criminals, rather than buyers and sellers of Coke-cane. their motive may be to strengthen the ranks of their peers, and to render more efficient and profitable the free enterprise lock up system...the ACLU's motive? One can only guess. Civil Liberties, perhaps? The union of even more addictive substances and more compatible entities is proceeding apace, as the Heinz Corporation and the Kraft Corporation are bringing ketchup, mac and cheese, and velveeta to the same table, and placing them on the same plate. Although less fortunate Americans have been doing this culinarily for decades, it will now be done by those in power financially in corporate board rooms, with Heinz playing the purchaser, adn Kraft the purchasee. All hail to America's new third largest food company, and the world's fifth largest, and heaven only knows who or what could possibly be any larger. Spare the tomato tossing and please pass the squeeze cheese, with a big fat dollop with oozy red salt and sugar viscosity on top. It should all blend together tastily, served straight up, with just a touch of shareholder appreciation.