Stealing Magnolias

I HAVE A NEIGHBOR with a magnificent magnolia tree in his yard, and each spring I eagerly await its blooming. It comes, but it never lingers long. The blooms open, reach their peak, fade and crumble in what seems like an unfairly short period of time. A bit too far north, it seems. Farther south more favorable conditions don't seem to bring about the blooming much sooner, but they last much longer; people are still enjoying them weeks after my time has passed. There is a lady who smart phone photos of an unopened magnolia bloom almost every day, and keeps the snapshots coming every consequent day, as the flower opens, and reaches its peak. She spares us images of its inevitable later faded glory. She doesn't seem to have a magnolia tree in her yard any more than I do; the blooms come, so she says, directly from her neighbor's tree, which she describes as "having too many blooms". so, to keep her neibhgor 's tree within acceptable limits, she snages one, for the sake, I assume, of community service, upholding the law of floral productivity. I hesitated, and still hesitate to ask exactly how many flowers are permitted, and how she can tell when the tree has crossed her imaginary line in terms of sheer numbers. My reluctance "stems" from the fact that this is the same Facebook lady whose swimming pool must be forever filled, even in the severest drought, in order to avoid doing damage to it due to its emptiness. (Over the eyars, I have learned, through hard experience, when to go no further, when to not pursue a subject.) One day, she stat nobody should ever have flowers in their homes, not even for occasions such as funerals or weddings? (She thought she had me). Evidently, she equated the two life changing events, marriage, and death. To that I responded: 'My concern is not so much with the flowers, but with their source". She told me to "lighten up". I had thought myslef alreay fully enlightened up, and told her so. I then assured her that henceforth I would assiduously count the blooms on my neighbor's tree, and, in the event of there being "too many", would take the necessary action. I still don't know what the magic number is beyond which a tree is allowed no further legitimate production, but fully intend to pursue the matter, possibly with a botanist, and when I find out, I'll sound the alarm, warning all who might commit the transgression of failure to monitor and properly respond to an excessively prolific tree the chance to rememdy their oversight.