Nonconforming, With A Purpose

I WEAR MY SOCKS MISMATCHED, almost by design. Into the laundry clean bin the clean socks go, never again to see their true mates. Random selection works wonders. Since I am retired and must answer to nobody, I dress how I want, which results in an almost daily donning of sweat pants and T shirt, shorts in warm weather. I wear them all day, everywhere, evn to bed. they make great jammies. Try it, you'll like it. They're Always clean as personal hygeine is of paramount importance, but sometimes a tad tattered. Likewise I always wear a ball cap, as I was trained to cover my hair during my four years volunteering in the senior center kitchen. A Razorback or Yankees emblem will do. On special days, like election day, I break out my "Make America Greta Again" beauty. It looks nearly identical to the standard MAGA monstrosity, but with a key difference, and it confuses everybody, since Americans tend to read in a cursory fashion. Some folks misread that I am for Trump, and are delighted. Some are madder than hell. But nobody sees "Greta" as Greta". I am always willing to clarify, about the cap being a reference to Greta Thunberg, my idol...Sometimes, just to be prepared for anything, i wear my "MAGA" cap, carried and concealed, underneath my Yankee or Razorback hat, ready to spring it into action if somebody wants me to show what I got.. When the situation gets a bit tridky, as it sometimes does, I blulrt out "Yeah, hell.they misspelled "great", so I got the danged thang fur a dollar. That always works among the sorts of folks on whom I use it... My eccentricities extend beyond the purely sartorial. Behavior matters. When conversing, I always use pronouns such as "she" or "her", "him" or "he", and "I" or "me" properly, which distinguishes me from 99% of all Americans. Sometimes I alternate between a noithern an a suthin accent, just to keep 'em guessing, and to keep their attention, which for your average American is about the length of that of your average goldfish. I often lapse into an ebonic or Hispanic accent, out of admiration for their beauty. No disrespect intended.