UPON FURTHER REFLECTION, it seems unreal, like a bad dream or a bad joke. My good friend of more than thirty years, a political neophyte with somewhat naive views, bet me a case of imported beer that Donald Trump will be back in office (president, USA) before the end of 2021. These days I don't drink beer, but of course I took the bet. Who wouldn't? I'm a fast learner, confident I can rediscover the joy of being drunk. Precisely how my friend thinks Trump's return to the presidency is going to happen, the details, escape me, and I didn't dare ask. Another capitol insurrection, perhaps? An unexpected Supreme Court ruling? Your guess is as good as mine, as we like to say. Meanwhile, I cannot even come close to fathoming what must be going on in my dear friend's tortured mind. Maybe a trained psychiatrist could, maybe not. Then, there's my sweet sister, a rock solid pillar of the community, long retired from a successful career at the Pentagon, in civil service. I sent her and her husband a pair of baseball tickets, and heard nothing from her after a week. When I finally called, she told me that the tickets had arrived "several days ago". When I suggested that it might have been a good idea for her to inform me of their arrival, since after all they have some value, she allowed as how she had been rude and thoughtless, and sent me an ornate hand written Hallmark thank you card. As if that wasn't more than enough compensation and penance, she sent me an email saying that she realizes that she has been "letting me down" for a long time, and suggesting that she suspend any further efforts to cultivate a relationship with me. Her husband hasn't spoke to me for five years, ever since I told him that he shouldn't have talked non stop for two hours at a large family gathering. I should perhaps feel comforted that he didn't sever his vocal chords, then rip off his shirt to show me the scar. Still confused, I'm thinking that they must both be on some medication of which I am unaware, with side effects. Either that, or hyper sensitive to criticism. I almost expect to hear from her again, reporting that she is wearing a hair shirt, and will soon report to a nunnery. Of even more concern is that my life is replete with similar true anecdotes, of people going right smack haywire over the edge with extreme emotion over the least provocation, like a minor disagreement of perceived slight. Is it me, or is it the water? Do I exude some unknown pheromone which over stimulates the hypothalamus? Is the tap water laced with meth? Do vaccinated people really have implanted in their left arms a computer microchip which reprograms the brain and turns people into emotional wrecks? Are people spending too much time in Pentecostal church, watching too much reality TV, listening to too much conservative talk radio, or binging on Jerry Springer? has the isolation wrought by the pandemic driven the masses insane? I'll leave that question for the experts to sort out, if there are any. As for me, I'm going back into self quarantine.
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